So there were three guys on a plane. they all died.

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why was the postman sad? because ran over a small child with his truck

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Sunflowers are yellow, Daises are white.

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What do you call a jew with no money It doesn't really matter because all jews have money

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How do you make a blonde go 'ewwwww'? Hand her a moose placenta.

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why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead

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A bear and a rabbit both take a dump in the woods below an old oak tree. They look at each other, smile and nod their heads in acknowledgment of one another. The bear is first to let go of his rather large load and a loud THUMP is heard throughout the woods. Shortly after another and then another. The rabbit looks at the bear for a moment then turns closes his eyes and begins to strain. Finally the sound of what can only be described as a machine gun rattles through the wood. Looking impressed the bear looks over at the rabbit as it pops off its last few pellets. When the rabbit is finished the bear asks "Do you have a problem with the shit sticking to your fur?" The rabbit thinks for a moment then looks at the bear and says "Umm... No, not really." So the bear uses the rabbit to wipe his arse.

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Why didn't Pat's grandma go to his birthday party? Because she died last night

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What do a black lesbian, Adolf Hitler and Jesus have in common? They are all the subject of this question.

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What is an anti-joke? This is.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was dead

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Knock Knock Who's there? Can you sign for this package? Certainly

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Your mum is so dead, when I kick her she doesn't move.

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Why was timmy having trouble with his homework? Because lobotomies were a forced practice in the 1950's.

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How many filthy niggers does it take to screw in a light bulb? None, because I killed off all the filthy niggers.

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What is brown, white, and red all over? A part asian part white guy covered in blood after having her girlfriend have her period while they were having sex in a club in alaska near a military school that was abandoned and is now haunted but justin bieber took care of that.

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What do you call "Bob the Builder" when he retires Bob

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What did the man with one eye say to the woman with one leg at 2 p.m? Good afternoon.

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What happened to the kids bike? It broke when he got hit by a bus

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How did the little boy survive the massacre? He didn't. How did the little girl survive the massacre? She was the killer.

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What did the young Muslim man have attached to him? A book-bag, it was is his first week college and he eager for an education.

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Why did the man fall off of his bike? He was hit by a car and died in a tragic accident.

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What's green and invisible? This cabbage in my hand.

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Roses are red Violets are blue The other color on our flag is white I'm an American and rhyming doesn't matter

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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