What is the difference between menstrual blood and sand? You can't gargle sand.

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Q: why do english soldiers have red coats? A: to cover the blood stains, so they can still lead their platoons when they are shot. why else?

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what did one deer say to the other? nothing, he was shot during hunting season.

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How do you confuse a girl? Easily.

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What's the richest fish in the sea? The one you threw a quarter at.

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? Where's my tractor?

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Knock knock.. Who's there? Breaking. Breaking who? Im breaking up with you.

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Roses are red, Violets are glorious, Don't try to surprise Oscar Pistorius!

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So a blonde, brunete, and red head are all on the side of the road for prostitution. so a man walks up to the red head with money. she takes it and runs off. a man goes up to the bruenete and hands her money, but she also takes it and runs. so a man walks up to the blond with money and she says "wait...we get paid to do this?"

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A horse walks into a bar and the bartender asks, "Why the long face" To which the horse replies by trampling him to death for making rude remarks about his face.

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"Hey ask me if i'm fat" "Are you fat" "Leave me alone"

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What is the difference between a duck? One of it's legs are both the same!

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Why did the cancer patient shave his head? He wanted to pretend he still had hair.

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Q: Why was the boy so sad? A: His parents were just killed in a car wreck, therefore orphaning him and his five brothers and sisters and leaving them with no money, food, or shelter due to lack of steady income and the fact that their house had been foreclosed on.

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1.....2.....3.....boom you died

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Why did the plane crash? because the pilot was a pineapple

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What did the cat say at his mother's funeral? Nothing. He was too grief stricken over the loss of his beloved guardian.

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Q: How many banana peels does it take to run down the street, true or false? A: Telephone poles don't have doors.

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I've got the whole world! In my hands! I've got the whole world! In my hands! I've got the whole world! In my hands! Now you must listen to all of my demands or I will crush you all.

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What do you get when you mix Catholicism and Islam? War

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What did the blind boy get for christmas? harry potter transcribed in braille so he could enjoy such a magical world like the rest of us

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Q: What's worse than both of your parents dying in a terrible car accident? A: Sitting in the back seat with your grandparents.

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what happens when you throw a rock in the water? it gets wet

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If a quiz is quizzical, what's a testicle?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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