Roses Are Red...Rolo's Are Round....Pull Down Your Pants And Let's Down!

thumb_up thumb_down -27

Some guy pretends to be Santa on the street. He touches a little girl and says "It's okay i'm Santa" So the pedophile Santa molestes the little girl. The little girl goes home and says that Santa touched her so the parents go looking for this guy. And then they find out he died of a heart attack.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

how do u get a bonar? u look at your mum!!

thumb_up thumb_down -19

You know what's stupid and gay? Idiots and homosexuals, respectively.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Why did the woman have an abortion? Because she was raped at the age of 17.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Whats the difference between a red cup and a blue cup. Ones red and the other is blue.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Q: What did the Jewish man find when he turned on his shower? A: gas

thumb_up thumb_down +28

Knock, Knock. Who's there? Milkman. Milkman who? I've been coming here for 14 years and you don't even know my name? I helped take your mother to the hospital for crying out loud! I held you in my arms as a baby! And you don't even have the decency to remember MY NAME?! I'm sorry I don't live in a house that allows milk and other groceries to be delivered, I'm sorry that I wasn't born into a nice family with a nice home! I'm sorry that I have had to come here EVERY WEEK FOR FOURTEEN YEARS and you can't even remember my NAME! My name! I left my family for christmas one year to go pick up that elmo doll for you when you were a kid! I saved you from that burning treehouse! I helped you with you're 3rd grade science fair project and you won! YOU WON! We took a picture together that i have kept in my wallet. And i proudly say here's me and timmy. ME AND TIMMY! TIMMY! But no...you don't need to know my name. Well good day sir. You shan't see me again.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

What did one apple say to the other???? Well, since they are fruits, and not people, they were unable to talk...

thumb_up thumb_down -10

roses are red violets are blue i have a big dick unlike you

thumb_up thumb_down +10

What did the 4 year old black kid ask his father for Christmas? A yo-yo. nah im just kidding he doesnt know who his father is.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Why wouldn't Leena sleep with Ole? Because she thought him to be a dumb, ugly, Scandinavian.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Q: why do shower heads have 11 holes? A: Jews only have 10 fingers

thumb_up thumb_down -1

MICHAEL

thumb_up thumb_down +7

How did Mary fall off the swing? She got hit by a fridge.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

What did chad do when his friends came over? I'm not much of a fiction man personally.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

World's 2 Biggest Lies 1. I have read and agree to the Terms of Service 2. That was my last piece of gum

thumb_up thumb_down -5

What's the difference between Paris Hilton and a cow? Cows are ruminants, meaning that they have a digestive system that allows use of otherwise indigestible foods by regurgitating and rechewing them as "cud". Paris Hilton, on the other hand, is a human being. Therefore, her stomach digests the bolus (masticated food) only after it has exited the oesophagus into the body of the organ, where it is digested into chyme and then passed through the pyloric sphincter into the duodenum.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Q: What's worse than a baby nailed to a tree? A: Ten babies nailed to eleven trees.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

What happens when you leave Toby alone in your house? He eats your carpet, some pillows, ur dog, ned, neds dog and a glass panel. This is why 2 +h = plugger +Mount Everest (I is potato annoying). Bonjour.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

a man walked into a store got what he wanted and left.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

why did the cow jump over the moon because it was on a high dose of lsd

thumb_up thumb_down +19

What's brown and sticky? Poop.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Girl: what comes after 69? Boy: 70. Girl: no,toothpaste! Boy: ...

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops