Why can't Helen Keller drive? She didn't pass her driving test.

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What is black and gray? This rectangle and this text.

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An alien spacecraft picks up human transmissions from Earth. They continue on in silence and disgust.

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One night, a man dreams that he is a bird that can fly into outer space. The next day the man finds out that his son is a homosexual.

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What do you call an art history major with a job? A gainfully employed member of society, who assuredly benefited from his access to higher education. It is also possible that he was chosen for the position because of acquaintances or family members who were also employed by the company, but many people would consider it impolite to bring up this possibility, as it might be construed as denigrating the aforementioned individual or his chosen field of study.

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PATHETIC

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he has Obsessive Complusive Disorder.

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mary had a little lamb it's fleece was white as snow and everywhere that mary went it did a massive shit

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How many no-armed amputees does it take to screw in a light bulb?

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whats the difference between a pile of dead babies and a red corvette? i don't have a red corvette in my garage

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What did Batman say to Robin before they got in the car? The Batmobile only seats one, you'll have to take the bike Boy Wonder.

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A man walked into a blind child's house and made him see again. He stepped outside, walked into traffic, and died as he was not used to the light.

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If you were a pie I'd eat you

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What's the difference between a whore and a blonde? There is not enough information to answer this question.

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How did Justin Bieber die? He didn't. And we all need to stop making fun of that poor boy.

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A man walks into a bar, and then a second man walks into a bar. The third man ducked.

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what's worse then the holocaust finding a worm in your apple.

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A horse walks into a bar, and the bartender says "Why the long face?" And the horse says "I have cancer".

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What's brown and rhymes with Snoop? Dr. Dre.

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What happenes if you put an elephant in the fridge? Nothing, it wouldnt fit.

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How do you fit 94 jews in a volkswagon? two in the front, three in the back, and 89 in the ash tray

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When is the best time to wear a striped sweater? All the time

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What did the asshole say to his friend behind him? Fart

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What do you call a black lady with big boobs? Oh, wait, it's just a fat black guy.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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