Man: I'm just popping out to get cigarettes (He never returns.)

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A fish swims up your penis...

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Stevie Wonders said to his friend, "Have you seen my house?" "No" "Neither have I"

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how many birds did chuck norris kill with one stone? one.

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What is red and does not cry? Half a baby.

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I like my coffee like i like my women, blonde with big boobs.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it got out of it coop and there was something shinny on the other side of the street.

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Why are Jews always so clean? Because they never come out of the shower.

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THERES AN APP FOR ANTI JOKES ? now thats not funny !

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What's long, hard, and filled with semen? A submarine

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Why was the boy sad? Because he had a frog stapled to his face.

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Women's rights

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Your mom is so ugly that she had self-esteem problems and severe depression as a teenager due to merciless bullying due to her looks, however she overcame this, found a man who loved her for who she was, and then married him. She now lives a happy life.

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How do you make a plumber mad? You tell him that his princess is in another castle about a thousand times over 25 years.

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A blind man walks into a bar... And a table. And a chair.

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A blonde, brunette, and a redhead walk into a bar. The redhead, growing tired of the constant ridicule directed at her from the other two solely on her hair color, proceeds to kill them with a single shot glass. She pleads guilty to 3rd degree murder on two counts and is sentenced two life sentences in a maximum security prison in Cambodia.

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What is the deferince between a lamborghini and a pile of dead babies? I don't have a lamborghini in my garage.

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why did the man die? he was shot

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How do you fit 100 babies into a bucket? With a blender. How do you get them out again? With Doritos.

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All of the people in the burning building escaped except for one what was wrong with that one person? He was a blind, could not hear and was in a wheelchair.

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Why did the fox cross the road? To chew on the chicken carcass.

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why did the circus boy not do his homework? because he was in a coma.

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Whats from Hattersley? Someone who lives in Hattersley.

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how many babies does it take to paint a house? that is child labor, which is illegal in many countries.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops