What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? I don't eat pizza

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What did the student say to the teacher, after being assigned homework? This isn't my best subject, can I stay after class for tutoring?

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Hi

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so a man walks into a bar..... and says ouch.

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What was jesus's first miracle? He made a blind man walk. And for the stupid people out there jesus's first supposed miracle was making a cripple Walk

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Why does the chicken cross the road? 4

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What do you call a black guy who flys a plane? A pilot.

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So I have an idea that will solve both world population and hunger problems! I call it the Omni-Abortion law. The idea is that all babies must be aborted and then eaten. Progressive, right?

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What do you call two blacks on a bike? Two good friends having a good time.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Who cares?

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What do you call a black man that steal from your shop? A thief

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whats big and can vibrate after you turn it on? A washing machine.

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A green-painted man walked into a bar and confused a blonde, bar-tending horse with a tale of rape in the holocaust involving an amputee child riding a fridge on a plane with a pig, a duck, a chicken, a lawyer and countless men of various ethnicities, religious faiths and sexual persuasions. Together, they changed a lightbulb, ate wormy apples and agreed upon the colour of roses and violets respectively.

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A bear is chasing a rabbit through the woods. The rabbit stumbles into a genie while coming to a clearing. The Genie says, "I will give you both three wishes." The bear thinks quickly and says, "I wish every bear in the forest was female." The Genie then grants the wish. "And...now I wish that each bear in the country was female!" The Genie grants the wish. "AND I WISH THAT EVERY BEAR IN THE WORLD WAS FEMALE!!!" the bear exclaims, now getting overly excited by his wishes. The Genie grants the last wish and then turns to the rabbit. "Your turn." The rabbit wishes for a pair of running shoes and the well being of his family and friends. For his last wish he points at the bear and says, "I wish he was gay."

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hello there i am a male from the small town of balamory and i have just found a very large oblong with an acute right angle strongly attached to the left hand side........do you think i should hand it to the new york extra torestial services ?

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Emily Scarpello...Fat Couch

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Justin Bieber is having sex with a girl. He then awakes from this horrible nightmare.

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Why is Henrik so AWESOME? Cos HE just IS!!!!

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Roses are red, Violets are red, Trees are red, Bushes are red, Oh shit, my garden is on fire

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Two cows in a field. One said, "Moo!" the other said, "Shit! i was going to say that."

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Are u that bald or is your neck blowing bubbles.

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I like my kids how i like my coffee I dont like coffee

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How any blondes dose it take to screw in a lightbulb? 3 one to hold the light bulb and two to rotate the ladder

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How did little Sally break her Nintendo DS? Her abusive father repeatedly abused her and punished her until she was thrown into a stone wall. As she went into the wall she crushed by another wall and broke the DS.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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