There were three guy's caught trespassing on a farmers land. The farmer said he wont kill them if they did what they were told, he told everyone to pick one fruit. The 1st guy came to him with grapes. The farmer told him to shove it up his butt so he did, the 2nd guy came to the farmer with orange, the farmer told him to shove them up his butt but the guy kept laughing, the farmer got angry and snapped whats so funny? My buddy over over there is picking watermelons.

thumb_up thumb_down -31

There's a blonde, Brunette and a Redhead stuck at the top of a cliff. A genie appears and says he will grant them each one wish. The Brunette wishes she could at the bottom of the cliff, The redhead wishes she could be back with her children and the blonde would just love to be back to her family. :/

thumb_up thumb_down -95

what happened when the chicken crossed the road? it didn't the hunter shot it

thumb_up thumb_down -17

How many babies does it take to paint a wall? It depends on how hard you throw them!!!

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Wanna hear something funny? Sure. Okay,cool

thumb_up thumb_down -28

Why did the Indian cross the road? Trail of Tears.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

What did the cow say to the other cow? Moo.

thumb_up thumb_down +36

2 muffins are in an oven. One says to the other, "it's really hot in here!" the other replies, "WHOA. A talking muffin!"

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Why did the man get a tattoo? A: he wanted to express himself.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

selena gomez & justin beiber go in space. selena says im hotter than the sun. the way she knows this information is that she is near the sun at this time justin beiber has already drifted off in space.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Knock knock Who's there Isabelle Isabelle who? Is-a-bell necessary on a bike

thumb_up thumb_down -9

What doesn't kill you makes you stronger Stand a little taller Doesn't mean I'm lonely when I'm alone What doesn't kill you is a bad attempt on your life.

thumb_up thumb_down -28

Roses are red, violets are blue. Your definitely a virgin, too bad your mom isn't too.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Why did the little boy drop his ice cream? He was ferociously raped by a bear.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Q: Why did George Lopez walk into a Taco Bell? A: To purchase a 5-layer Gordita Burrito

thumb_up thumb_down -17

how do you wake up lady gaga? set her alarm for a reasonable hour

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Q:How many dead babies fit in a bathtub? A:It depends on the bathtub, but if all of them were the same size, babies also differ in size and sometimes shape. If all bathtubs and babies are the same, the number would be 1, because every baby will be as big as the bathtub.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Why did the Gazelle run away. Because a lion was nearby and as we all know, nature called for the lion to be a carnivore, so the gazelle is in danger of being consumed by the lion.

thumb_up thumb_down -34

Q. What did the 300 pound Asian get for Valentine's day A. A jetpack. Except for the fact that the previous sentence was an obvious lie making this whole joke irrelevant.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Q:What's worse then Finding A Worm in Your apple? A: Realizing how empty your life is.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

How do u make a fat person cry......... tell em mc donnalds is closed (^_^)

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Q.What do you call a friend with benefits? A. a buck fuddy.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

I hate chocolate. I hate it so much. It sickens me. The only thing I hate more than chocolate is people that like chocolate. I hate them even more. Do you know what happened to the last person I met that liked chocolate? NOTHING

thumb_up thumb_down +24

What does spongebob do to get high. Nothing, spongebob doesnt exsist.

thumb_up thumb_down -76

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops