Why did the man get a tattoo? A: he wanted to express himself.

selena gomez & justin beiber go in space. selena says im hotter than the sun. the way she knows this information is that she is near the sun at this time justin beiber has already drifted off in space.

Knock knock Who's there Isabelle Isabelle who? Is-a-bell necessary on a bike

What doesn't kill you makes you stronger Stand a little taller Doesn't mean I'm lonely when I'm alone What doesn't kill you is a bad attempt on your life.

If you watch the titanic backwards, its really about a magical ship which saves peoples lives!

Roses are red, violets are blue. Your definitely a virgin, too bad your mom isn't too.

Why did the little boy drop his ice cream? He was ferociously raped by a bear.

Q: Why did George Lopez walk into a Taco Bell? A: To purchase a 5-layer Gordita Burrito

how do you wake up lady gaga? set her alarm for a reasonable hour

Q:How many dead babies fit in a bathtub? A:It depends on the bathtub, but if all of them were the same size, babies also differ in size and sometimes shape. If all bathtubs and babies are the same, the number would be 1, because every baby will be as big as the bathtub.

Why did the Gazelle run away. Because a lion was nearby and as we all know, nature called for the lion to be a carnivore, so the gazelle is in danger of being consumed by the lion.

Q. What did the 300 pound Asian get for Valentine's day A. A jetpack. Except for the fact that the previous sentence was an obvious lie making this whole joke irrelevant.

Q:What's worse then Finding A Worm in Your apple? A: Realizing how empty your life is.

How do u make a fat person cry......... tell em mc donnalds is closed (^_^)

Q.What do you call a friend with benefits? A. a buck fuddy.

I hate chocolate. I hate it so much. It sickens me. The only thing I hate more than chocolate is people that like chocolate. I hate them even more. Do you know what happened to the last person I met that liked chocolate? NOTHING

What does spongebob do to get high. Nothing, spongebob doesnt exsist.

Q: Billy has 47 pieces of cake, he eats 38. What does he have left? A: Diabetes

How do you sneak Jews across the border? In an ashtray.

Why didnt the teenager have a smartphone? He didnt live close to a cell phone store

A man walks into a bar and says "I'd like a beer."

Miley Cyrus is Twerk Queen

What do you say to a rock? Meow

What's the difference between an orange? The horse because the vest has no sleeves.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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