Why did the man turn up at his friend's funeral dressed as Mickey Mouse? Because it would have been disrespectful not to attend.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Why were 50 police officers in the supermarket? A tsunami had struck and they were cleaning out hundreds of bodies

thumb_up thumb_down -10

What does a girl with no arms on a swing? Falls.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

how many weasels does it take to change a lightbulb 0 weasels are animals and therefore are not capable of changing lightbulbs

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Your momma's so fat she has diabetes and my have to get one of her legs amputated. It's actually quite sad.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

knock knock go away ok

thumb_up thumb_down +38

A black guy walks into a bar. He drinks some wine and exits the bar. -Lets Go Mets, not Yankees

thumb_up thumb_down -29

You're a fat chubby McChubchub fatty fatchub because your fat chubby McChubchubfattychub poop is on your fatty fat Mcphat face of fatchubness because you are the fatty lord of McChubby fat kings.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

ewrg

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Do u take sugar?

thumb_up thumb_down -4

it smells like up dog in here. whats that?

thumb_up thumb_down +2

i want to eat a horse out jaffa cake

thumb_up thumb_down +26

what did the teacher say to the kid? you failed the kid cried.

thumb_up thumb_down +31

There is a high speed police pursuit when suddenly the suspect's car skids and crashes into a field. Two cows witness the commotion, when one turns to the other and says "Moo".

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Why was a black man in a police car? He is a police officer.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Why did the elephant paint his toenails orange? Because he wanted to hide in the pumpkin patch

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Ask me for £1000 Can I have £1000 No get a job

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Your mom is soooo fat..... She'll most likely suffer a heart attack

thumb_up thumb_down +18

What do you call a person who is deaf. It doesn't matter, they wont be able to hear it when you call them.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Why is cameron haythorp gay? Answer- He showed his willy to robet tuner

thumb_up thumb_down -29

What band protects hope in current music? Nickelback.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

How much does a Mexican Parade cost? A Nickel

thumb_up thumb_down +9

I raped someone in my basement... ...Just Kidding!... ...I dont have a basement

thumb_up thumb_down +19

These are some questions you should never ask on a first date: When you wipe do you throw your toilet tissue in the toilet or on a trash can? Do you smell your hands after you wipe? Do you you ever look down when you take a dump and see it come out? Have you ever picked your butt and then picked your nose with the same finger?

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops