What does an Israeli gun sound like? Jew, jew, jew, jew, jew

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A rapist and a little child walk through a dark forest. The little child says: "It's scary here." Rapist answers: "Tell me about, I gotta go back alone through here."

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Two fish were in a tank one said...."ill drive!"

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Q: What did Batman say to Robin before they got into the car? A: Get in the car.

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A woman walks into a bar. She is pregnant and gives her baby fetal alcohol syndrome.

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Poker face

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Your mom is so fat, She should go to a doctor because her cholesterol is abnormally high.

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Why doesn't the Athiest wear socks? He has a minor fungal condition on his feet.

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What's worse than dying? Dying twice.

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What is purple and flies? A purple plane.

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So a frog and a penguin were talking and the frog says, " I have some good news and some bad news. The bad news is we're freezing, but the good news is: We have a conoe!".

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Justin Bieber walks into a bar. He is soon kicked out as he is underage.

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Why couldn't the man find his watch? Because he was mugged by a homeless man and had severe brain damage..... ....and because he left it at the office

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Elmer: "Wabbit Season" Buggs: "Duck Season" Elmer: "Wabbit Season" Buggs: "Duck Season" Elmer: "Wabbit Season" Buggs: "Wabbit Season" Elmer: Bang

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Try this on some random person on the street... You: "Excuse me sir, do you know how to get to Farnsworth Street?" Man: "Sorry, no" You: "OK, you go straight ahead, then turn left on the second street. Continue about 200 feet, then......"

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How do you get an elephant in pajamas? Elephants are large mammals with several layers of body fat, and pajamas are for humans. there is no purpose in attempting this feat at all.

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Why did the plane crash? The pilot was a loaf of bread.

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What did the mute girl say to the other mute girl?

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What sits in a corner and travels all the way around the world? A stoner on hallucinogens.

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Why did the Chicken cross the road? To get to Your House. Knock Knock. Who's there? The chicken

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7 chickens ran down the road. One ate a spider. He is now the fattest chicken.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? 7 ate 9!

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How many dead guys does it take to build a shed? None. The contractor did it for 40 dollars an hour using maple wood.

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Have you heard the story of the empty room? Theres nothing in it.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops