Why didn't the blonde laugh at my blonde joke? She's dead. She should of laughed at my jokes more.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

A Priest and a Rabbi find a very young lost child. They both agree that their religions obligate them to find the child shelter.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Why did the chicken cross the road? There is no reason. Chickens don't have the thinking skills to reason.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

What do you get if you cross a black man with a sword? A dead black man

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Edward and Bella looked at each other. Then they both died. Oh, and Jacob is actually a transvestite.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

A dog walks into a forest and sees a whale. The dog asks "aren't you supposed to be in the ocean?" The whale replies, "yes."

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Why did the man need new glasses? He was thrown off a bridge by a leprechaun.

thumb_up thumb_down -29

There's a black guy in a house. What's he doing there? He owns it.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Why did the boy drop his ice-cream? He was shot in the back, knifed in the face, kicked in the groin, poo'd on by an alpaka, had frogs stapled to his face, his hair burnt off, pushed off a cliff, eaten by a scorpian, lost his arms legs and eyeballs, squashed by a hippo, ran over by a buss, truck and cement mixer, had cement poured on his frogs (that were stapled to his face), became morbidly obese, was raped by a chicken, was served as sauce at an italian resturant, was done by his mother's father's grandson, broke both of his detatched legs, crashed his car, went into a time machine and was crushed by a stegosaurous, had a lemon squesed in his detatched eyes, got high on cokeawana, was crushed to death by a garbage disposer and was rejected by the hobo at the shelter? no, actually, he tripped

thumb_up thumb_down +6

One day a duck was swimming on the lake and sees an alligator. The alligator says "You will be my next victim." The duck says "Quack."

thumb_up thumb_down -8

what didn't Jon go to the movies? He tripped and broke his neck and cant look up

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Guess what? That is actually a ridiculously broad question, and I can be referring to anything. You really have no chance in guessing "what" is. As a matter of fact, I can just be thinking about a thought of something else, which is not even a concrete thing. Therefore, you really have no chance of guessing what "what" actually is. So I win. You lose.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

You know whats funny? Things that aren't listed here.

thumb_up thumb_down -114

An american, canadian, and mexican are on a skyscraper. Canadian: (pulls off maple leaf) we have to many of these in our country (throws off building) Mexican: (pulls out burrito) we have to many of these in our country (throws off building) American: (looks at mexican) we have to many of these in our country (pushes mexican off building)

thumb_up thumb_down -39

A horse walks into a bar and the bar asks "Why the long face?". The horse replies " I am deeply troubled by the anthropomorphic aspects of my existence and the extent to which I am now protected by law."

thumb_up thumb_down +11

A guy asks someone's name. The other guy answer that his name is Steeve.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

A newly wed couple is at the beach and the wife asks for sunscreen and the man says he forgot it in the car. He goes to the car only to find that the car had been broken into. He goes to call his wife and they go back to the car only to find that the car had been stolen. #Turns out the thief broke the window to steal the car but saw the owner coming and hid behind a bush and upon the man going to call his wife he continued with his mission

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Your mom is so retard that she needs "special help" from medical professionals. :3 <33

thumb_up thumb_down -57

Whats worse then any minority? inter-minority breeding.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

So 2 apples are having sex, and one apple sais to the other, I got worms.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Shakespeare walks into a bar, Having just seen someone that has been dead for over 400 years, the young man in the corner quits his drug addiction; it was clearly messing with his brain.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What has four legs and rocks? Your baby kitten that just got stoned to death.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Why did the boy want to sleep in the same bed as his parents? His bedroom was on fire.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

What's black and white and red all over? A black, white, and red shirt.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops