So a pirate walks into a bar. He sits down and orders a drink. The bartender then looks down and realizes that the pirate has a steering wheel on his penis. "Sir, are you aware that you have a steering wheel on your penis?" the bartender asks. "Arrrrrrr! It's driving me crazy! I just woke up one day and it was there!" The pirate replied. "Well you should probably get that checked out soon, it looks like it could be very harmful to your health and slightly uncomfortable. Not to mention your penis is out in the open." "You are right, what was I thinking?" The pirate agreed. He proceeded to get his friend to drive him to a hospital, for drinking and driving is not safe, and steering wheels on penises are not healthy.

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What's the opposite of fly? To not fly

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Why did Timmy's face hurt? Because there was a frog stapled to it.

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What do you call a black woman who had 4 abortions? A Crimestopper

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What do you call a boy with no arms or legs? Chris

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Whats Big, Brown, and smells like Horse Crap? Horse Crap

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What did the black kid down the road get for Christmas? Your Bike.

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If you like piña coladas! You might be an alcoholic

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Q: What happens when you hit a man with a car? A: You speed away hoping no one saw, you spend the next month and a half agonizing over your crime as it consumes you because you think of the poor man's family, then you either go to prison or hang yourself from a fan all because you wanted road dome....

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Q: What's pink and fuzzy? A: Pink Fuzz...

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Most poems rhyme, but this one doesn't.

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Why did the moron jump through the window?

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What did the nurse say to the man who got an erection while being given a sponge bath? She assured him it was a normal reaction and moved on to clean his arms.

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whats worse the being in a car crash? finding out that your mother and father were in the other car and were fatally injured.

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4 is half the number 8 is.

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How many dyslexic people does it take to ruin Christmas? One, because they murdered you mother on your birthday.

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In the attic lights Voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Leaving the things that are real behind Leaving the things that you love from mind All of the things that you learned from fears Nothin' is left for the years Voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Lights, voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Leaving the things that are real behind Leaving the things that you love from mind All of the things that you learned from fears Nothin' is left for the years Voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic

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Why was billy sad? He was being brutally hacked to peices behind his garage

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Who is gay and sits next to me in my architecture class? The same Griffin Kid.

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How was copper wire invented? Probably some scientist did that

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hi

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If I could rearrange the alphabet, I would put my dick in your ass

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whats the differnce between madalin macan and batman?...batman returns

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whats brown and sticky? A stick

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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