A man walked into a bar. It was very crowded so he decided to leave.

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How do you make an idiot laugh? Tell him a mildly funny joke relating to bodily functions, such as defecating or passing gas.

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OMG guess what she just told me!! idk......im deaf.

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why did radio not get the song? beacause he radio didnt work.

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What's worse than cancer? Death.

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? -- Because she had no arms Why did sally drop her ice cream? -- Because she got ran over by the ice cream truck

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One terrible stormy night, the citizens of Ristoville were hiding from the monsterous lightning cloud approaching them. Little Jonny Harrison, however, was not afraid. This boy had been bullied from the ripe young age of about 14 months by his closest friend, Uncle Oliver, who happens to be a Catholic Priest. Jonny wanted to face the storm, with 6 years behind him, he thought it bizzare that anything worse than Uncle Oliver's magical basement could be brought unto him. He grabbed his supply of Cheese and Onion Quavers, a couple cartons of Apple and Blackcurrant Flavoured Ribena, his pretend mobile, a 10ft long metal conductor and his pet grape, "Christopher", and set out for the journey of his life. He told his terminally ill mother that he is going for the adventure of a lifetime, his dad that he wishes him well, and finally, his Grandmother, Rosie Harrison, who has had a severe addiction to meth for almost 25 years now, who has had over 13 interventions and countless attempts at suicide, that he loves her with all of his strong, brave heart, and to hang in there. Little Jonny Harrison takes his first step outside, facing the eye of storm with a little bit of pee in his pants, squeezes his Ribena, slightly squirting it and throwing it heroicly to the drooping wet grass, and screams to the cloud, at the top of his lungs, the words, "I am unstoppable!". Jonny died of HIV induced AIDS and his Uncle was given three to five years, depending on behavior, in a high security prison for child molestation and consistent domestic abuse and paedophillia. His Grandmother, Rosie, also died later that day.

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"knock, knock" "who is there?" Gestapo

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Q. A man walks into a library and asks the librarian for a book on suicide? A. The librarian hands the man a book on suicide

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks "why the long face?" The horse begins bucking wildly, injuring three patrons before breaking through the front door.

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Roses are red, Grass is greener, When I think about you, I play with my weiner

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Whats worse than the dole. The SRC!!!

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whats worse than death getting your nuts ripped of by a rabid racoon

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How do you get a baby out of a blender? With tortilla chips.

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Q: What did Robin Williams say to the young boy? A: Nothing, He is dead

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Your momma's so fat she has diabetes.

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What did the cow say to the farmer who was driving by in a tractor? MOOOOOOOO!

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a man walks into a bar he is promtly escorted out due to the fact that he wanted to kill the bars owner. The man got life in prison with no chance of parole. This mans name was Michael Myers.

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What's red, white and blue? You're mother on her period after she had sex. I don't know where the blue came from.

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Lets Go Lakers!

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A duck walks into a bar. The bartender says, "Hey, what can I get you?" He is then checked into the psychiatric ward at the local hospital, for talking to a duck.

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A jellyfish walks into a bar, the bar doesnt appreciate him, so he retreats back to his jellyfish lands.

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Ask me if my names Troy. Is your name troy? No, it's Roy.

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why doesnt john lipka have a job? because the unemployment rate is high these days.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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