What's worse than beating a dead horse? Nothing. Beating a horse is just too much fun

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will you like this joke my sources say no

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What happened to the cat that fell in the bath? It jumped out feeling cold and embarrassed.

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There's a priest, doctor, and blonde on a plane. At the end of the flight they all go their separate ways.

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what starts with b and ends with b? The bomb i just planted in your house.

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Goats are like toilets, I shit in them

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A duct walks into a bar. The writer meant to write duck and then proceed to make a clever joke but instead a typo was made and a very unlikely occurence was writtern about considering air passages are not capable of walking and would most likely already be in the ceiling of the bar as too bring fresh air into the bar is important.

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Q: Whats the difference between a mexican and a bench. A: A bench is an object and a mexican is a human being.

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Yo mommas so dumb she took an IQ test and scored low on it

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Two scientists walk into a bar. The first one says “I’ll have some H2O.” The second says “I’ll have some H2O too.” Then he dies.

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You Wanna hear an anti joke? Womens rights

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How do you kill a vampire? You can't because vampires aren't real.

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Why won't sharks attack lawyers? Humans tend to fight back, and sharks wouldn't usually be so hungry as to endanger their own lives in this way. Besides, most places where humans swim have shark barriers.

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How come Kristin cant go play soccer anymore? She broke her leg kicking her brother in the face.

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knock knock who's there jehovas witness... ...I allow them into my house for a cup of tea and a chat as I respect their religion

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What do you call a magic owl? HOO-DINI!

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How many fingers am I holding up? None, my fingers were blown off by a hand grenade.

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Life gave me onions. Onionaide Sucks

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My name is actually Nero by the way, or Neron, which means black, have you ever played Mortal Kombat? There is a character there Named Erron Black, which is a total pun on that, there is also a character named Boraicho which drinks constantly while Borracho means drunkard in Spanish so yeah, Erron Black is simply an anagram for Nero Black, or rather Neron Black... Anyway, now that we got your brain nice and confused, I can increase the effect with OVER NINE THOUSAND! So your pictures "remastered" on photoshop or something?

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What did the man say when he was asked if he recently saw a mime painting a lawn chair in the middle of December? "No." , and walked away, slightly confused by the matter.

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Steven Hawking walks into a bar. Steven Hawking is disabled from the neck down. I lied.

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Get some flipping new jokes people

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Why was the woman poor at driving? Because she had not yet passed her driving test.

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why did the Asian by a dog because he was lonely

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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