Why does Santa Clause say Ho Ho Ho? He has Tuberculosis.

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You dork, seriously, the comment where I mentioned that I am married is like 60000 comments PAGES behind. What? Now you ashamed of losing your, I mean I can say that I am your first right? That I am going to stick my MANFLESH into your CHERRY AND POP IT RIGHT? JUST TRYING TO BE SUBTLE HERE! Seriously though, Your name is really Tifa? And you look a FUCKING HELL A LOT Like Tifa From Final Fantasy... You know, except she has gigantic feet and no lips and you know...

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what do u call a girl with cancer? bald.

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Why did Dracula cross the road? To get to the other unbitten virgin.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? why? Womens rights

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i quit soccer because science happened and then i forgot how to screw in a lightbulb

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What did one Chinese man say to the other? ?????

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What's worse than watching paint dry or grass grow? Watching paint dry on grass.

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Why did the man get hit by a van? He was blind, and his guide dog was an idiot.

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why did the boy fall of his bike He got shot in the face

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Why did Greg move to the Lake District? Because his dog died and the family is in mourning.

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Q. What do birds and a mouse have in common... A. Nothing there two different species

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A Jew walked into Germany. He never walked back out.

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Laughter and joy... You are really sweet you know.. Excuuuse me princess! But Like Mickey Mouse never changed... From a Potato peeler to some fuckup private detective in a trenchcoat. So tell me, what character did Walt Disney draw before Mickey Mouse?

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Why did the cat have hair? Because he did.

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Q: Did you know Hellen Kellers father was a skilled craftsman? A: Neiter did she.

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What's the best part about having sex with twenty-six year olds? They're of legal age to give consent.

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Why did little Timmy start crying? Because he was shot.

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Knock! Knock! Who's there? Russel. Russell who? Russell Johnson. Oh, come in.

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Ehh

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Why did sally fall off the swing? Because she had no arms Knock knock Who's there? Not. Sally..

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What jew get for christmas? Your money.

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A police officer walks into a bar. He uses the ATM and withdraws 20 dollars. After greeting the bartender he leaves the establishment and proceeds to go on duty. The cop was really friendly.

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Theaters say silence is golden... Trap silence in a jar, make millions.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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