What just hit my face? The floor

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Why did the boy stay in the closet? Because the door was locked.

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Why do midgets laugh when they run? Because the grass tickles there balls

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What happened when the mailman shot the plumber? The plumber died.

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A bartender walks into a bar. It's his shift.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? because i was on the other side and we were going to catch a movie

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Why did you loose the basketball game? Because they scored more points than us.

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I said I hate niiggers

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Golf.

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21 Ways to Annoy Everybody 1) Pretend to be one of the Bush family. Doesn't matter which. 2) Have an uncontrollable lusting for someone else every five minutes. 3) Pretend to be from different ethnic backgrounds every hour, and when people ask you about it, answer like a hillbilly would. 4) Act like a hillbilly. Period. 5) Improvise Italian operas. 6) Gossip about someone to their face. 7) Answer every question with a question. 8) Repeat yourself constantly. 9) Act like a member of the opposite sex. 10) Repeat yourself constantly. 11) Act like Mr. Flanders from The Simpsons. 12) Repeat yourself constantly. 13) Change what you repeat every now and then. 14) Use homonyms in your e-male that the spell cheque would knot sea as miss steaks. 15) Change what you repeat every now and then. 16) Talk to someone while looking at somebody else. 17) Employ in your casual banter extensive vocabulary that will befuddle thy contemporaries. 18) Change what you repeat every now and then. 19) One word: Caffeine. 20) Another word or two: Caffeine and Sugar. 21) stringwhateveryousayintoonelongwordsoitshardtomakeoutwhatyou'resaying.

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3 jews sits in a car. Who drives? Not Hitler.

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Q: What do you call a colour blind person that smells like green paint? A: A painter

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why should you not go to sleep in public? Because that's how you get raped.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Clever rhyming punch line refrigerator

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5

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why did the cow say "moo"? because he's a cow and that's what cows say.

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What's utter destruction but still has wheels? A car that was crushed at a junk yard, after the Bridgestone tires were removed for another car that could still use them

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says, "Why the long face?" The horse then precedes to beat the bartender voraciously for making fun of his religion.

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Q: A young friend you met on the internet invites you over to his house. When you arrive, Chris Hansen enters the room. What does he say? A: Welcome to our home

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Why did the car stop? It ran out of gas.

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Q: What did Santa give the little boy for Christmas? A: Nothing, he's not real

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man boobs

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Your mom came to my house last night. We played chess.

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What's black & sits at the top of the staircase? A quadriplegic after a house fire.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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