Why did the man eat a human heart? Because he was part of a dangerous, religious cult.

A man walked into a bar. Ow!

Why did the squirrel cross the... *Squash*

Leave. Now.

How do you make a plumber cry Kill his family

Your mamma so jobless, that she needs a job! ~T.J.C.S.

What starts with P and ends with "oop" POOP

penis haha

Why did the girl eat a sandwich? because she was thirsty

Did you hear the one about the guy who couldn't tell any funny jokes? He went to Anti Joke and posted 1000's.

how many poeple does it take to change a light bulb? you spelled people wrong.

Why can't Anne Frank drive? Because she's dead.

Knock Knock! Well come on in!

besides saying "Oh, Yeah" and punching down walls, what does the kool-aid man do? drink cool aid

A man walks into a music store and hears dubstep playing in the background and he says, "Ugh! I hate dubstep!" Suddenly the clerk gets extremely offended and says, "Haters gonna be gay!" The man chuckles at the clerk's remark and shakes his head. "No no no silly," He said. "Haters gonna not be deaf." He says shaking his head as he walks out. The clerk tries to elaborate on what the man meant, but he realizes he cannot hear his thoughts.

Your mom is so fat shes having trouble getting into her own pants.

What do you call a middle-eastern man flying a plane? A pilot

whats fat and sits on a toilet? a fat guy sitting on the toilet

Your momma's so fat: she now considers her body to be a metaphor for post-industrial excess.

You know you're drunk when you've spend a significant amount of time consuming alcohol.

Q:What did the cat say to the dog? A: Meow

I like to rape children, then kill them, eat them and defecate them into a toilet

Q: What's the difference between a Ferrari and a pile of dead babies? A: I don't have a Ferrari in my garage.

Why did the carrot jumped over the fence? It didn't. Carrots do not have the physical ability to jump.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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