What did the bartender say to the upset horse? GET OUT OF MY BAR!!!

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How much does a dead battery cost? Nothing, it's free of charge.

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What do a jew and a black have in common? God hates both of them

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A homeless guy on the brink of starvation found one dollar lying on the street. He took it and bought a lottery ticket at the local drugstore. God was looking down on him with pity that day and decided that day that he would no longer be a vagabond. The next day, the homeless man won the lottery jackpot, worth 100 million dollars. He declared that on that day, he was the luckiest and happiest man alive. He then woke up in a pile trash.

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What's the hardest part about being a pedophile? Fitting in.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Heisenberg...

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Two Jews, three Nazis, and a black guy go into a bar. Where they have a spirited debate about Canadian football. And leave without coming to any conclusions.

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HOW MANY CRACK-HEADS DOES IT TAKE TO CHANGE A LIGHT BULB? NONE, THERE AIN'T NO ELECTRICITY IN THE CRACKHOUSE!!!

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My grandfather died in a Nazi Death Camp. He fell off a watch tower.

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Why did the bird fall out of the sky? Someone shot it.

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Dead babies.

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Your mom is such a slut she had sex with your dad on the very first night of their marriage!

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Roses are Red Violets are Purple Not blue

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Whats big, brown and can jump really high... A kangaroo

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How many pieces of gum are in 5 gum? 5. i meen 7

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How Do You Fart Eat Beans

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What did Santa get for a young boy? A gun.

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Your mother is so bad at cooking that people often remark on how bad at cooking she is.

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What's the difference between a baby and a mushroom? One is delicious, the other is a mushroom.

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Nero, I understand, what I thought was correct, was to teach people to understand those exact words that you are conveying. Its not that, I am afraid of showing the world the man that I am. But rather that I am not a man, I admire your vision, and tried to follow it, as we got much in, common, I can think as an individual and still admire your work. But you know how society is built, if too many find out I am a woman, then that not only reveals that I have been lying to them, which I have, but also that well, women are not exactly seen as equals, I know I never was, all people ever saw in me was "a great pair of tits".

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a man walked into a bar....

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What do you call a black guy with no hair? Bald

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Ay Bee Cee Dee Ey Ef Gee Haych Eye Jay Kay El Em En Ow Pee Queue Our Es Tee You Vee Doubleyou Ex Why Zed Now you know your ABC, come along and sing with me!

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A man and a woman are in bed together and really want to do something, what is that something? Sleep.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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