How do you stop a bus? Throw small children in front of it. Except it didn't work for the boy with ice cream.

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Whats hotter than the sun? Larger stars.

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"Roses are red, violets are blue," she explained to the color blind child, who was unable to understand the concept of color.

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How much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood? Approximately 75 pounds of wood a day

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What is worse than stubbing your toe. Being shot

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whats long and pointy and guys always have to brag about whos got the biggest one? their christmas trees

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MRCANN YOUR A FUCKIN' CARROT LERN 2 FOCKIN SIT IN YER HOLE YA FUCKIN PLANT

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Ask me if I'm a watermelon. Are you a watermelon? No...

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Why did the man staple his own scrotum to his left thigh? He didn't. His friends did.

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Schroedingers cat walked into a bar... and it didnt.

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Why doesn't Santa come in the Summer? Because it's not Christmas.

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There was a man who entered a local paper's pun contest. He sent in ten different puns. He won.

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Why was 7 afraid of 6, because 6 raped 5

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How did freedom die in Europe? It was shot in the chest with a rifle.

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theres a fork in a drawer half way open and a knife in a cup on the counter. how does the knife get into the drawer, it cant knife are incapable of moving

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How do you kill a fox in Canada? Cut it's leg off and let it run!

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Why did everyone call the one-legged man Matt? Because that was his name.

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How do u save a black person from drowning? Take ur foot off the back of there head

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Three men walk into a bar. You'd think one of them would have seen it.

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Knock Knock, Whos there? a baby nailed to the wall Orgasim

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"Knock knock." "Who's there?" "Chuck Norris." "Chuck Norris who?" "NOBODY SAYS 'CHUCK NORRIS WHO'!!!"

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Your mamma is so fat that she went on a diet.

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what did the red rock say to the blue rock? Nothing. Rocks can't talk.

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What's a bug's favorite sport? Bug's can't play sports.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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