Q: What is the answer to 255 x 23? A: A number!

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The Paralympics! Even if you win, you're still retarded!

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Jesus walks into a hotel, slams four nails down on the counter, and says, "Put me up for the night!" The concierge looks at him and says, "You're not Jesus. Jesus was brutally murdered approximately 1,970 years ago. And although I may not be a believer, his teachings have brought comfort and solace to millions of people around the world. Nor do we accept nails as payment. Please remove yourself from the premises or I will call security."

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okay so theres this guy.

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Jesse ziggenfat hates his life. He's really obese. Just like his mom...and his sister...and his brother.....and his dad.... And his dog? Bacon?

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what did the man with no legs get for Christmas? A piano

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What's five miles long and has an IQ of 40? A democrat parade.

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? "Where's my tractor?"

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a b c d e f g h i j k l m n o p q r s t u v w x y z which one does not belong answer: none

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Your mom is so dumb, she has difficulty acquiring a job to support her family.

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Why couldn't the 13 year old get into the pirate movie? He has cancer and is dying in the hospitable.

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Why didn't the politically-correct lawyer laugh at his black neighbour's jokes? He had an incapacitating malady of oralfacialoaralysis rendering him unable to laugh or smile

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What's has 4 wheels But ain't a blue car A red car

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Roes are red, Violets are blue, This poem doesn't rhyme, You're entire family has died. The plane that they were on went down due to a flock of geese getting sucked into the engine. They were visiting you for your twenty fifth birthday and wanted to surprise you. there were no survivors.

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What's the difference between a car and 10 dead babies? I don't have 10 dead babies in my garage.

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A momma cow was grazing in the meadow with her three calves when the first one asked, "Mom, how did I get the name Rose? "Well when you were born, a rose pedal came floating in the breeze and landed on your head." The second calf asked, "How did I get the name Daisy?" "Well when you were born, a daisy came floating in the breeze and landed on your head." The third calf mumbled, "LKJLSKJFSLKJLKSJDF" incoherently, and the Mom responded, "Shut up, Cinderblock."

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Mexicans working in an office

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How did the blonde burn her ear? In a terrible accident involving molten lava.

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Some people are like Slinkies: they get really boring after a while.

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Why did the jewish man pick up a nickel on the street? Because he understands the value of saving money.

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Hollywood presents: "HELP US MARIO! THE WORLD IS BEING OVERWHELMED BY KOOPA AND HIS FORCES OF TURTLES!" "What the hell do you want me to do? I am a damn plumber, squish them? Besides they are just turtles" "Oh yeah..." Steven Spielberg: Get bay on this script, at least its much better than the first one.

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Knock knock (No one is home)

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whats the difference between a nigga and a bucket of shit? the bucket

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what is brown and rhymes with snoop? dr dre

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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