Why did the milkman wear a white belt? To keep his pants up.

what did the jaguar and the girl have in common? Spots, the girl had the chicken pox

I can't think of a joke!

What's the difference between a baby and a watermelon? One of them I like to eat, and the other one is a watermelon.

Why did the black man cry? He was grieving the death of his brother C.D

Why did the chicken cross the road? On a fundamental level, it was pursuing evolutionary instincts, perhaps a half-bored interest in food.

The guy told a funny joke. Why wasn't the other guy laughing? Because he was having a heart attack

"Hello, is this the Krusty Krab?" "No, this is Patrick."

What's worse than a bee sting? 2 bee stings What's worse than 2 bee stings? The holocaust. Whats worse than the holocaust? 3 bee stings.

why did the boy fly away because his mum shot him out of a cannon

There are two muffins in an oven. One says nothing. Muffins can't talk.

What was the beauty pageant contestant with a bladder control problem told by the judges? You’re an 8.

Some guy: Which of these is not delicious,watermelon,chicken,or kool aid. Black guy: What?

What did Bear Grylls say to the dead whale? Mmmm.

What's the difference between two telephone poles? T-shirts! Because motorcycles don't have doors!

what did the catholic priest say to the little boy? -probably something about god or jesus because they are in church

So yesterday I went to find a pair of camo pants, And I did

A horse walks into a bar The bartender says "Why the long face?" Unable to under stand English the horse shits on the floor and leaves

I tell the Doctor I'm having pains in my chest. He says that sounds serious and admits me immediately to the hospital.

What swims in the ocean? Fish

Knock Knock! Who Is it? You, Tig

What's pink fluff? Pink fluff. What's blue fluff? Pink fluff holding it's breath. What's red fluff? Angry pink fluff. Ask me if I'm a truck. Are you a tr-- No. What's green and has wheels? Grass. I was just lying about the wheels. What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding half a worm in your apple, 'cause the other half's in your mouth. What's worse than finding half a worm in your apple? Angry pink fluff. What's worse than angry pink fluff? The holocaust. That's not funny. Stop laughing.

How much wood could a wood chuck chuck if a wood chuck could chuck wood? 17

Why couldn't the young girl play outside with her friends? She was bed ridden with terminal cancer.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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