I hate it when I get an erection and it pushes Pluto out of orbit.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Yo momma's so fat that when she went to Seaworld and a whale saw her, looked away, and continued on with its daily life.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

What did the Irish nun say on her deathbed? "I now realize that smoking was an unhealthy habit and I regret that I made the choice to do so." Then she died

thumb_up thumb_down +24

What's the difference between a duck? One of it's feet are both yellow.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

why couldnt sally help timmy pick up his ice cream? she had no arms

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Why did Superman cross the road? I dunno.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Fill in the blank: Hello my name is ___, and today I would like to ask you why you put your real name in the blank? Posted by: BerserkSpoon

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Why can't black people swim? Cause poop don't float!

thumb_up thumb_down -1

How do you cure AIDS? You can't.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

A man was jumped by two muggers and fought like hell, but was finally subdued. His attackers then stabbed him. He later died from his injuries.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

why does pink turn into blue it doesnt you just get hit by a frigde because you cried whe you got shot several times

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Ask me if I'm a truck. Are you a truck? You have HIV.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

What do you call a black person with a million dollars? A millionaire.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Why did Gary's cat fall from the tree? He didn't use enough gaffa tape.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

how do u make a snooker table laugh? TICKLE ITS BALLS HAHA

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Why is it that all cats dislike flying saucers? The strange noises and lights probably frighten them, as they don't understand the concepts of extra-terrestrial intelligence and space travel.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Q:What happened to the fat man that rode a roller coaster? A:He had fun

thumb_up thumb_down +15

What's the difference between Hurricane Sandy and Barrack Obama? One is a catastrophic event that resulted in thousands of deaths, countless power outages and homes destroyed, and millions of dollars in damages, and is said to be one of the worst tropical storms to ever hit the nation. The other is the President of the United States, who has put in an unbelievable amount of effort to fix our economy, create jobs, and make America a better place to live. So as you can see, the two things are extremely different. One must wonder why this question was even asked in the first place, as one is a human being and the other is a storm, making any common traits between them almost non-existent.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Why'd the girl drop her lollipop? She got hit by a bus.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

How do you call a black man selling fruits ? Yes, but I'm not sure

thumb_up thumb_down +4

There was a farmer had a dog and Bingo was his name-oh But the farmer killed and ate him, because Bingo licked himself inappropriately

thumb_up thumb_down +28

A elderly man was driving down the freeway when he got a call from his wife. He answered the phone and his wife said "Be careful dear, I just heard on the news that someone is driving the wrong way on the freeway." The wife then heard a loud crash over the phone as the drunk driver going the wrong way slammed head on into her husbands car, killing them both intstantly.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Who told the gorilla he couldn't go to the ballet? The people who were in charge of making that decision.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

WE BE-ETH YON KNIGHTS OF THE ROUND TABLE

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops