Hey Eliza, thanks, while I appreciate the help, Alice is crying in a corner and refusing to get up, I wont lie, for a moment there I could "see voices and music" and valium has taken care of the ptsd (and blown most of my brain, which is nice for a change). With that said, im on 40 mg ritalin which is a lot, but I need it, besides I can handle the anxiety. I have no idea who the guy typing this is, but he is following me to the letter, so thats good enough, except his typos being worse than mine, which is pretty good for a guy that barely speaks english. Sorry Eliza, but Alice is having a breakdown here, ill talk her down a bit first, she tries to hide it, but she is far more worried about me than I am, which is nice, just not like this, ill be right back with you.

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If a man shouts in a forest and there is no woman around to hear him, is he still wrong? He could be, he could not be. It really depends on what he says. The greater concern is that he's shouting alone in the forest. Either he's in trouble or he has a major psychology disorder.

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Why does the Pentagon have twice as many toilets built as is legally obliged? Racial segregation

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a young cow was sitting on a bench until her husband shot her after that he said to the farmer 'i will get the milk than you cut the udders and then maranade them

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#IsaiahAfterAD&B

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Haiku's are easy But sometimes they don't make sense Refrigorator

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Chuck norris eats nails for breakfast. This is most likely the cause of his bleeding stomach and acid reflux.

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There was a man with a job and kids. One day he came home from his job and went to sleep. He never woke up because it turns out he had a heart attack.

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Why couldn't the blonde count to 70? because 69 was a mouth full:)

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5 Jewish men walk into a bar and are expected to be treated nicely

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What's grey and can't climb trees? A parking lot.

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How many midgets does it take to screw in a light bulb? One. Midgets are capable of doing an average person's everyday task. Unless they have autism, then they might as well die.

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Haikus are easy, But sometimes they don't make sense, Refrigerator Sex

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Once upon a time, there was boy. I saw this boy. So I sat on him.

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Where did susie go after the explosion? everywhere. What was susie after the explosion? a puzzle.

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When the poop hits the fan and you walk in with your pants around your ankles, it's a bad sign!

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Guess what? I like trains.

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What was Mozart's favorite vegetable? Aspara-gus.

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What do you call a black guy driving a plane? A pilot.

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Q: What did the little boy with cancer get for Christmas? A: A funeral.

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Q; Whats the hardest part about nailing a dead baby to a wall? A; my dick while doing it.

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whats blue and looks like a bucket? a red bucket disguised as a blue bucket

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What did the guy do with the tv remote? Turn on the tv

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why did billy fall on the sidewalk? he got stabbed

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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