Why couldn't the woman go grocery shopping? She was paralyzed from the neck down.

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Why was the woman in the kitchen? She came in to give her husband, who was washing the dishes, a kiss before she went to bed early so she could be well rested and get up on time to make the 45 minute commute to the hospital where she worked as a neurosurgeon the next morning.

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Q: What do you get when you put an ice cube, a grasshopper, a cell phone battery, and a human finger in a freezer? A: A very strange mix of objects indeed.

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Do you work at subway? Because I often enjoy eating there and i think the food is pretty good. I do not however eat there everyday because i might get overweight and get a eating disorder.

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sdrawkcab ekoj siht tleps I whether you like it or not

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Where do penguins keep their money? No where. Penguins don't have a money economy

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Hazel and Gus are two teenagers who share an acerbic wit, a disdain for the conventional, and a love that sweeps them on a journey. Their relationship is all the more miraculous given that Hazel's other constant companion is an oxygen tank, Gus jokes about his prosthetic leg, and they met and fell in love at a cancer support group.

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What are little Timmy's hopes and dreams? Destroyed.

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Fuzzy Wuzzy was a bear. Fuzzy Wuzzy had no hair Fuzzy Wuzzy died of cancer

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whats worse than getting killed by a random tomahawk in COD mostly anything because COD is only a video game

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A man. That is all.

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Hickory Dickory Dock. 2 mice ran up the clock. The clock struck one.. and the second one got away with major injuries, dying in a hospital three days later. The clock is now serving its 8th year in jail out of 25 years, and does not regret anything.

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How did the black man start his car? He turned on the emission and lightly leaned his foot on either the accelerator or reverse pedal, depending on the position of the car.

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Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: Because he wanted to

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Why was the bus driver sad? The kid with the icecream had c4 strapped to his chest.

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Knock knock. Who's there? 9/11. And you said you'd never forget.

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Why was six afraid of seven? Because chad makes babies cry.

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What do you call a black person flying a plane? A pilot. Duh.

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Rose's are red, Violet's are blue, I have a gun... Get in the van!

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See what I did here? ;) Ladies, I just need some space okay? Damn Space Invaders... Ijustmetthespaceinvaderstheytookmyspace << DOUBLE MEANING!

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knock knock who's there? doorbell repairman

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Q: how do you spell apple without any letters? A: you can't.

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roses are red violets are blue i have 5 fingers the middle ones for you.

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What do you get when you cross a helicopter, elephant, and a rhino? Heliphino

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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