One day, an Irishman, a Jew and an American were walking home from a long game of golf. "God, that was a long game" said the American, to which the Irishman replied "aye, that it was." The Irishman then turned to the Jew, and asked him how he managed to get two birdies in succession. The Jew, after a moment of deliberation, began to explain. "Well, it all began when I was six. See, there was a mountain right next to Casparia, the village I lived for most of my life back in Wales. Every day, I'd come back from school, and ask my dad why nobody ever attempted to scale the mountain. 'To do so would be an unnecessary risk, son, and people are too busy working to put food and water on the tables for their families to undertake something so foolish.' One night, when insomnia was getting the better of me, I decided to get a better look at the mountain, so I strapped on my boots, my fur coat and some woolly mittens and left for the mountain. After a few hours of walking, I approached the closest hill which gave me a perfect view of the mountain's first peak, and there I spotted a polar bear, mauling a hiker to death." The Jew paused to check the Irishman and the American were following, when the American spoke up; "hold on there, there aren't any polar bears in Casparia!" The Irishman also spoke up; "there isn't even a village called Casparia, well, anywhere!" The Jew smiled slightly, and a few seconds later the smile broke out into a gigantic grin, and he finally replied: "exactly".

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Why did the italian go to jail? because he had just robbed a bank and then brutally murdered his wife and kids.

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What did the old man catch at a baseball game? Aids.

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How do you make a baby cry? Throw a brick at its face!

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Q. What's white and lives in a tree? A. A fridge.

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What did the boy with no arms and no legs get for Christmas? A drum set.

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what is stupid and reading this you

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Roses are red Violets are blue I am a gardener

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why did the guy cross the road? Because he felt like it

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There's a tray of muffins in the oven. One muffin says, "man it's hot in here!" Another muffin says, "holy shit! A talking muffin!"

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Roses are red Roses are pink Roses are yellow Roses are white

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Roses are red Violets are blue One fish two fish Red fish blue fish

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Why did the chicken sneeze? Because someone put pepper on its nose.

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?????????????????????? ????????????????????????? ??????????????????????????? ???????????????????????????? ????????????????????????????? ...?????????????????????????????? ?????????????????????????????? ???????????????????????????? ??????????????????????????? ???????????????????????????? ???????????????????????????? ????????????????????????????? ???????????????????????????? you mad?

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What did mike Tyson say to the midget? ''Hello'' He's actually a relatively nice man.

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What do you call five white guys sitting on a bench? THe NBA

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Red my dear, we are no exceptions.

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Roses are Red, Violets are Blue I've just bought a chainsaw, and I will now decapitate you.

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Beans, beans the magical fruit. The more you smoke, the blacker your lungs get.

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What did the serial killer do when his check bounced? He promptly deposited more money into his account.

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What did the teacher do? He taught.

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Boy: If you didn't have feet, would you wear socks? Girl: No. Boy: Then why do you wear a bra?

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knock knock! fu ck off i'm a shift worker trying to sleep

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Show me the money! Said the man last wednesday.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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