How can you tell two twin sisters apart? Look at one twin, then look at the other, and acknowledge that they are two different people.

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Why did the child drop it's lollipop? Because they got hit by a bus.

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My friend Edward found a worm in his apple. Edward happened to be a lemur. Lemurs eat both plants and worms, so he ate them both.

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Ask me if I'm a tree... Are you a tree? No.

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Why doesn't it rain on Sundays? It does.

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what is the awesomest of them all? me

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Women's rights

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How many pastry chefs does it take to screw in a light bulb? One. It's a fairly simple job.

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What did the man who brutally raped and murdered his infant daughter say? He didn't.

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An Arab walks into a bar. He then blows up the bar.

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Why can't kids do drugs in school? Because it's against the rules.

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why did the pancake eat a spanish holiday? Because a plane crashed into his condominium

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Why did the chicken cross the road? The cognitive capacity of the chicken is significantly underdeveloped in comparison to humans; thus, comprehending a chicken's motives is impossible. Furthermore, interspecies communication is largely understudied - a mysterious division of science that may never be fully revealed. Therefore, one could safely theorize that no single human could breach this gap in communication differences (assuming chickens do, in fact, communicate) and in turn, could not understand the chicken's reasoning behind its choice to cross the road (excluding the possibility of psychic connections between chickens and humans [see 'Dog Whisperer' for a more clear explanation on interspecial psychic relations]) That being said, the only scientific and logical way one could understand the aforementioned question is through observation. For example, perhaps food was located on the other side of the road. However, this seems to pose a plethora of other questions: Why was the chicken near a road and not in a coop stocked with adequate food? Was this a wild chicken? Are there wild chickens? Do wild chickens often cross roads? Are wild chickens dangerous? If so, why hasn't there been warnings about dangerous, wild chickens crossing roads? The answer to these questions may never be discovered or explained.

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What did the duck say to the mouse? Quack!

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Wanna hear a hot headed retard? call and listen carefully 6196342668

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How did the man with no arms or legs cross the street? He didn't.

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Why did Santa go to a rap concert? Because Santa was a rapper

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what do you call a polar bear in a bathtub? No soap, radio

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Whats worse than finding a giant spider in your bedroom? Loosing it...

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"I love you terribly!" said the girl to her new boyfriend. And that's when I found out my Uncle Ted was a cross-dresser.

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Feeling alone fast after opening your mouth? Feel that people ignore your conversations? BUY A PARROT! Teach it to say AHAH!... And Uhuh, and I PERFECTLY UNDERSTAND! Now YOU CAN BE APPRECIATED INSTANTLY BY A BIRD THAT DOES NOT KNOW WHAT THE FUCK YOU ARE SAYING!

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If a man shouts in a forest and there is no woman around to hear him, is he still wrong? He could be, he could not be. It really depends on what he says. The greater concern is that he's shouting alone in the forest. Either he's in trouble or he has a major psychological disorder.

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What does Lady Gaga call Hitler? Nothing special because she doesn't refer to him in everyday's speech.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It had AIDS

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops