Two lifelong friends walk into the locl Bar and each order a Beer. " So how's life treating ya?" Phil replies, " Well Doug, I've got Stage Four Lung Cancer. I'm going to Die, remember?" Unfortunately, Doug doesn't remember because Doug has a Brain Tumor.

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Two rolls are hanging on a wall..... On falls down and the other ones name is Erwin

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I was walking down the street the other day And I pushed a child under a bus

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Q: What do you call a blonde, a brunette, and a red head all who are 16 years old and standing in a school? A: High School Students

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He was jewish and saw a nickel on the other side

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What would Jesus do? Something worthy of having him nailed to a cross.

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Why do they give old people Viagra at nursing homes? Because erectile function decreases with increasing age, and it would be unfair to needlessly deny senior citizens the right to consensual intercourse if that is what they want.

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What's the difference between an elephant and a Jew. The elephant has elephant cancer.

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What did the farmer say when the potatoes were ready for harvest? The potatoes are ready for harvest.

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yous are all f u c k i n g dumb like rat kavanagh

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How do you confuse a blonde? Ask her a question.

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What do you call cheese that isn't your's Well it would depend on what type of cheese it actually is

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What did the black man say about Linkin Park? That there's obviously a rapist in their midst and they should all be questioned.

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Q: Why do police men keep killing unarmed black men? A: I don't know.

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69

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Alice, seriously do as I say, I lived with the man for over 16 years, those are not hallucinations, its PTSD, without ritalin he will just go trough that agony for nothing, not coffee not chocolate or any of that, anything that helps his focus. Seriously do not be a bitch Alice, listen to him and do as he says. Its not the first time people think he is having hallucinations when his eyes start moving back and forth like crazy, he is not seeing things, he is experiencing this as if they where real, and just because he can stay in that state for days, does not mean he is meant to go trough that kind of agony because of your ethics or caring or whatever your hesitation might be, the man can go without food for weeks if he has to, but not after you sneak trash like Zopiclone into his system. That was a mistake of yours, make up for it Alice, or ill make you pay.

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What happened to the man who lost his job? He couldn't support his family so they all became homeless and eventually died of starvation.

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What's worse than finding a band aid in your Crock-pot? Finding a Crock-pot in your band aid.

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Why did the little pig squeal? Because he was going through blades at a slaughter house.

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What's brown and white all over? Chad butthole

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? Because she no arms

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Knock knock. Whose there. Uninterupting black lady. Uninter.... MMMMMMMHHHHMMMM. Black ladies never listen

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Sally.

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A homeless man is hungry. He then kills a college professor and has a nice dinner

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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