What did one cancer patient say to the other? Nothing, both of them were dead.

A man comes into a bar. Wait, it's a horse. A man comes into a horse.

What's wanted by none, wanted by one, and is worse than Terran Hansen? Brooke Colbert. Go you Jesse.

A neutron goes into a bar and asks the bartender, "How much for a beer?" The bartender, millions of times larger than the infinitesimally small subatomic particle, does not hear his question and so does not reply.

Why couldnt the girl ride her bike? becuase she was dreaming she actually doesnt have a bike her family is poor in these hard economic times.

What's black, white, and red all over? A penguin in a blender.

What did Batman say to Superman before they got in the car? Get in the car.

Why did the sloth cross the road To fuck your gay cousin

Why did the chicken cross the road? know on knows as he can't talk

Your Mama's so fat she need some serious medication treating overweight.

What happened when they asked Steve if he was feeling blue? He confessed and went to prison for a long time for molesting that poor dog.

what did the blind, deaf, paraplegic child get for christmas? other than cancer, nothing.

hey hey apple

an alien is walking down the street he can't breathe our air and quickly suffocates and dies

Q: What's worse than biting into an apple and finding a worm? A: Being caught by the store manager, arrested, convicted, and thrown into jail for petty theft and then getting anally raped for the next 3 months all because you wanted to check an apple without paying for it.

What do you call a black man with a gun? A police officer.

What do you get when you mix a turtle and a dog An animal

Why did the cow cross the road? Cause he had madcow disease

The Charlotte bobcats.

why am i a dick head. because my gcse's spelt fudge and i dont like fudge so i project my anger into boss things

How did Helen Keller's parents punish her? Physical abuse.

A man walks into a bar, he begins drinking and returns home visably drunk. His family disowns him as he is a recovering alchoholic who was three months sober.

Whats the difference between a duck? One of its legs are both the same.

You know what is really annoying? An annoying baby that wont stop crying while you are trying to do very important work.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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