Why are "Polish" and "polish" spelled the same? The word is a homophone.

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A skeleton walks into a bar and the bartender says why the long face? the skeleton replies I have aids.

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CAS

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A Priest, a Minister, and a Rabbi walk into a bar. The bartender looks up and says, "What is this, a joke?"

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PSN IS UP

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why couldnt helen keller drive? because shes a woman.

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two kids see a girl naked in the woods They walk away promptly to their homes and tell their mothers.

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what ya call e dong withb eyes peeneyes

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Why couldn't the basketball player jump anymore? Because he broke his back.

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What do you get when you mix a dog with speeding bus? Nothing, you can't mix those two things.

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I like my coffee like i like my women, blonde with big boobs.

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What do you call a bay that got run over by a train? Thomas

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How do you make a plumber cry Kill his family

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GLaDOS: So... this cat loves lasagna so much that he eats all of the lasagna in his house. Okay, apparently it's not the cat's house or his lasagna. Oh good! The man who owns the lasagna is furious! GLaDOS: The end. GLaDOS: The end? GLaDOS: That's not funny. GLaDOS: Do either of you feel like laughing? GLaDOS: Alright, I'm pulling you out. GLaDOS: Welcome back. While you were dead, I reworked the cartoon. It's up on the screen. GLaDOS: As you can see, in my version the man points out to the cat that the house is equipped with deadly neurotoxin dispensers. GLaDOS: At which point the cat reflects on the time he ate all of the man's lasagna and feels remorse. GLaDOS: Briefly. GLaDOS: Reactions? GLaDOS: Yes, it's funny because most of it actually happened.

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What's a small person? A midget

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whats green and has wings ? a flying patch of astro turf

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Roses are dead Violets are dead Im a bad gardener

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Your momma's so fat: She feels uncomfortable in public due to current trends in ideal body shape and aesthetics of beauty.

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What's the last thing that went through John F Kennedy's head? a bullet

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Why did the pig walk into the bar Because he was thirsty

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Waiter! What's this fly doing in my soup? It isn't doing anything, sir. It's dead.

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What do you call a car with no wheels or engine? Immobile

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Why did the zombie go to school? Zombies do not exist and certainly do not go to school.

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I want to die peacefully in my sleep, like my grandfather.. Not screaming and yelling like the passengers in his car.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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