what did the penis say to the vagina? SMACK SMACK SMACK

thumb_up thumb_down -31

What's the difference between a baby and a watermelon? One is fun to smash and the other one is a watermelon.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Why couldn't Jim pogo-stick? He didn't have one.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

When life gives you lemons you squirt them in someones eyes and steal what life gave them.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Kid 1: Hey, guess what? Kid 2: Your MOM! HAHA! Kid 1:... My mother died two months ago from brain cancer after being shot in the head while fighting for our country in Iraq... Kid 2:.... um.. Your mom...?

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Why did the woman leave the kitchen? She didn't. Her head was stuck in the oven.

thumb_up thumb_down

why did the man hop everywhere? He only had one leg

thumb_up thumb_down -8

what did bob say tothe ugly duckling? your ugly and a duckling

thumb_up thumb_down +4

hahah there are so funny that they are so funny that they are so litteral that i make my self make other people laugh so that they poop

thumb_up thumb_down -11

what smells like red paint, but tastes blue? my heroine OD panflets

thumb_up thumb_down -10

What's red, white, and blue? light purple

thumb_up thumb_down -38

Susie had no arms and no legs.. what did she get for Christmas? Cancer. Amy was riding on a swing.. who was pushing her? Not Susie.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

How do you get a black guy out of a tree? Kindly ask him to come down.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

How do you make a small fortune? Be financially smart, work hard, save money, all while you make sure you don't let your earnings become a "large" fortune.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Q. What's pink and fluffy A. Pink fluff Q. What's blue and fluffy A. Blue fluff

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Did you hear about the Englishman who ran all the way to Loch Ness? Oh, that's a shame, because I didn't either.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

what's small, red and sits in the corner? A naughty strawberry.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

why did the kid drop his ice cream? because he got ran over by a bus! (not a original, just funny)

thumb_up thumb_down -1

What gets bigger and bigger and bigger, then dies? A baby.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

That moment when you and your friends throw snowballs at cars in the dark on the highway and the cops spotlight your area while you hide in a shed...

thumb_up thumb_down +153

Why couldn't the boy write his name because he had no arms.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

There are four worms walking in a straight line. The first worm says, "Hey, there's a worm walking behind me!" The second worm says, "Hey, there's a worm walking behind me, too!" The third worm says, "Hey, there's a worm walking behind me, too!" The fourth worm says, "Hey, there's a worm walking behind me, too!" How can this be? ...the fourth worm lied!

thumb_up thumb_down +15

A drunk walks out of a bar gets in his car and proceeds to drive home the driver passed out at the wheel swerved in the wrong lane and smashed the car of the Jefferson family a young family of 4, the Jefferson family's car exploded into flames while the drunk sat back laughed and rubbed the wound on his head

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Yo mama so fat! She should be concerned because diabetes is a serious problem that can lead to a heart attack. Also STOP EATING MCDONALDS.

thumb_up thumb_down -30

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops