A duck walks into a pharmacy and says to the man behind the counter, "Do you have any ointment? my beak is very chapped" the man replies "we have nothing for ducks here."

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Robin, get in the car, please.

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A black man is going to get a vasectomy. He shows up to the doctor's office wearing a suit. The doctor says "Why are you wearing a suit?" The black man says "I just got back from a funeral"

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Q: What do you call a successful black person? A: A fictional character.

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A woman walked into a bar at least that is what she tells her friends about how she got a blackeye.

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A pregnant woman walks into a bar and orders a drink. The bartender refuses to give the woman alcohol because he acknowledges a health risk for her unborn child.

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What's the object with the most points according to science and math? A sphere.

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A girl's opinion is respected.

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OK, so there's this blonde driving down the road in her brand new, candy-apple red, $125,000 Lamborghini. She's cruisin' about 95, radio blaring, having a great time. She comes up on this trucker who is carrying a double-wide home and is taking up both lanes. To her disliking, he is only going about 45. To get the point across that she wants to get past, she decides to tailgate him. So, she gets to within a foot of his rear bumper. The trucker looks back and sees her on his ass, and motions for her to get off of it, but to her it looks like a wave and she waves back. Since her first attempt was futile, she decided to get a little closer and begin flashing her headlights, hopefully making herself more visible in the process. Once again the trucker sees her on his ass, and this time motions for her to pull over to the side of the road. The trucker steps out of his vehicle with a chunk of chalk and draws a circle three feet in diameter in the middle of the road. He instructs her not to move until he tells her to. Naive as she was, she agrees to it and steps inside it. The trucker goes back to his truck and pulls out a 50-ounce Louisville Slugger. He walks over to the Lamborghini and beats it, and beats it, and beats it again. When he is done, all that is left is a brand new, candy-apple red, $125,000 pile of metal. Satisfied, he throws the bat in his truck and walks over to the blonde. When he gets there, to his astonishment, she is rolling around on the street laughing hysterically. He asks her, "Why are you laughing? I just beat the crap out of your car!!" She is laughing too hard to respond, but between giggles he can make out, "While you weren't looking I stepped out of the circle!"

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Why can't Hellen Keller have babies? She's dead.

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What has eyes but can't see? A blind person.

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I wouldn't be caught dead with a necrophiliac. Unless they were having sex with my corpse.

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Man 1: What's blue and goes blub blub? Man 2: I don't know what? Man 1: A blue blub blub. What's green and goes blub blub? Man 2: A green blub blub? Man 1: There's no such thing as a green blub blub you moron.

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doctor doctor i need help i stay up all night dancing what is it? dance fever! HAHAHAHA its fatal.

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what did little billy say to susie? "why, hello susie."

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How many blondes does it take to change a lightbulb? Generally one, but as the situation varies so does the number.

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guess what? WHAT? Idk.

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Why is Justin Bieber better than Freddie Mercury? Freddie Mercury is dead. Justin Bieber is still alive. Also Freddie Mercury is ugly and Justin is hot.

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Why did the first squirrel fall out of the tree? It was dead. Why did the second squirrel fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the first one. Why did the third squirrel fall out of the tree? Peer Pressure. Why did Bobby fall off his bike? He was hit by 4 squirrels Why did bobby die? He was hit by a bus

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Two muffins are in an oven, and one muffin says to the other "It sure is getting hot in here". the other muffin says "holy crap, a talking muffin."

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13

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

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41

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three black men walk into a bar. they where asked polity to leave.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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