Why was the boy crying? Because he had previously driven over innocent civilians who were all constipated and had now caused a mild to extremely large shitstorm.

Why couldn't the boy hide his penis? Circumcision.

Mr Whelk visited his doctor. His doctor put on a sterile glove and inserted two fingers into the man's rectum. "Does this feel all right?" The doctor asked "Yes" replied Mr Whelk. "But is my wrist broken or not?

Why did the Sara fall off the swing, Because she had no arms. Knock, knock Who's there not sara.

What Did the lawyer say to the other lawyer? We are both lawyers.

What's small, pale blue and sits at the bottom of the pool? "An over ripe blueberry."

A bar walks into a man and the man walks into a watermelon then the watermelon walks into a black guy then the black guy walks into a piece of fried chicken then the piece of fried chicken walks into a hotdog then the hotdog walks into a wall then the wall walks into a horse then the horse walks into a jar of mayonaise then the jar of mayonaise walks into a can then the can walks into the bar

What time is it when an elephant sits on your fence? About 4:30, unless he's running late, stuck in traffic, had to get gas.

Q: What is every blonde's ambition? A: To be like Vanna White and learn the alphabet.

Yeah, totally.

hi my name is 50 cent my mom swallowd 2 quarters befor i was born dsthgiudghyudgfuawyg

Why does ISIS want guns? Because they wanted to kill. Duh.

This is an anti joke. Please make it the bestest and most well likeded one on this site.

If you give a mouse a cookie... ...you're destroying its natural diet. It might die.

I used to have a shirt just like yours, except it was green. And it was a bicycle.

What happen to the guy who stole the TV. He runs away as he fears the person that stoled his/her TV reports him/her to the police.

Why did the little girl fail her test? Because she had mental retardation.

Whats black and is on sale in shops? Blackberries.

So, I'm sitting by this guy in Science class and we're learning about fungi. So this guy is being really nice and I tell him, "Bro, you're just a FUNgi to hang around", like fun guy.

Whats worse than a son killing his own father? His biological father finds him, 10 years later.

A man is driving down a back country road in an old beat up car going 30 mph when he notices a black horse and a white horse keeping pace with him. They keep up with him for a few miles before passing him and turning into a farm on the road. The man is quite impressed with the horses speed and follows them to the farmer and offers the farmer living there the horses in exchange for the car. The farmer says the horses are bad luck but accepts the trade, and the man walks off with the horses. The man then enters the horses in a big horse race and puts a lot of money on them. The horses immediately take the lead and are about to finish the race when the black horse trips and the white horse goes back to pick him up and end up losing. The man is furious and returns the horses to the farmer and gets his car back. The next day another man is driving in a nicer car down the same road going 50 mph when the black horse and the white horse run right past his car. Impressed with the horses speed the man trades his car to the farmer who warns him about the horses. Ignoring the farmer's warning the man enters the horses in a new race. The horses once again take the lead and are close to finishing first and second when the black horse trips and the white horse goes and picks him up again once again losing their lead. The man angrily returns the horses in exchange for his car. The next day a third man drives down the same road in a brand new sports car. While he's testing the limits of the car the horses catch up to him and run with him. Surprised by the speed of the horses the man speeds up in his car but the horses manage to keep up. The horses eventually run past the man and turn into their farm, and the man looks down and realizes that the horses had been running faster than 120 mph. The man goes to the farmer and offers his car in exchange for the horses. The farmer accepts but gives the man the same warning he gave the two men earlier. The new man just like the other two men ignores the warning and enters the horses into a race and bets a lot of money on them. This time the horse take the lead out of the gate but feet from the finish line the white horse trips and falls. The black horse seeing this goes back and helps him up once again losing the race. The man is disgusted and releases the horses into the city in hopes that they'll die out there. The two horses are wander into a bar, and the bartender looks at them and says: "hey you two why the long face?"

Wanna hear a joke? My penis size.

What happened at the finish line of the marathon? People collapsed in exhaustion, it was a marathon.

Why did Bill correct Matt when he called him Jim? Because that wasn't his name.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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