What do gay cows eat? Grass.

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What's green and eats rocks? A green rock-eater.

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Reality is often boring. TV is often bad for you. Reality TV is boring AND bad for you.

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What did the politician say to the bank robber? "Were both robbers"

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I haven't read and I don't agree to the Terms of Service

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Your mum's so fat that she's incredibly lucky she has a loving and supportive husband who values her personality over her appearance.

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How did the idiot die? He comitted suicide because people were picking on his stupidity. (If you laughed at this you are a horrible person)

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Pencils are yellow, Grass is green OK

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Why are fire trucks red Well fire trucks have 4 wheels, and they have 8 people in them, 4+8, is 12, there are 12 inches in a foot, a foot is a ruler, Queen Elizabeth was a ruler, Queen Elizabeth was a boat, boats sail the seven seas, fish are in the seven seas, fish have fins, the Finns defeated the Russians, Russians are red, And that is why fire trucks are red.

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Why don't lesbians use dildoes? Because they look just like a big penises.

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What's white on top and black on bottom? Society

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If Hellen Keller could meet Obama, what would she say? Nothing.

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Three vampires were at a bar 1 & 2 were drinking and asked the 3rd why he wasn't. He replied, I'm full I found a used tampon on my way here.

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Q: Why can't sally play on the swing? A: Because she has no arms Q: Who was the first to climb mount everest? A: Not Sally

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Roses are brown. Violets are brown. It's the middle of winter. Flowers look like poop.

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How did Allen Iverson compose one of the most well known interviews of all time? Practice.

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What happened to the Californian who drove off into the sunset. He died. You can't drive in the ocean.

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Which is better; having a billion dollars or a trillion dollars? Trick Question, you aren't that rich.

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How many New Yorkers does it take to screw in a lightbulb? usually one new yorker.

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Q. What is worse than being raped A. Being raped twice

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What did one wall say to the other? Nothing, walls don't talk.

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Why was the black man in Jail? He works there as a correctional officer.

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How did the happy clown die? Testicular Cancer.

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A black man is driving a nice car when he's suddenly pulled over by the police. "Do you know why I pulled you over?" asks the cop. "No officer" replies the black man. "You have a taillight out. However I'm going to just let you off with a warning because you seem like an upstanding citizen. Have a nice day."

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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