What color is a red house Red What color is a blue house Blue What color is a white house White What color is a green house Clear

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If a man shouts in a forest and there is no woman around to hear him, is he still wrong? He could be, he could not be. It really depends on what he says. The greater concern is that he's shouting alone in the forest. Either he's in trouble or he has a major psychology disorder.

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A girlfriend scolds her boyfriend for "sitting on anti-joke all day." He then explains how it is impossible to sit on something that exists purely in digital form and instead noted it would be more correct to say sitting at a desk all day. She complied and saw the error of her ways.

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What did one cow say to the other cow? Moo

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Why was Little Timmy crying ? He dropped his ice cream. Why did he drop his ice cream? He got hit by a bus. Knock-Knock! Who's there? Not Little Timmy.

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What do you call a black woman who had 4 abortions? A Crimestopper

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Do you know why the kid jumped down the 50 foot hole? I dont know, jump in and ask him.

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What's red and green and goes 500 mph? A frog in a blender.

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Q: Why did the bully hit the kid A:Because he is a bully-I thought that would have been self explanitory.

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A man is unemployed, ugly, short, fat, smelly and stupid. That's what she said.

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Why do women fake orgasms? Because they want to give men the impression that they have climaxed.

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Why can't Stephen Hawking go to the moon? He can, it would require a great sum of money, and extensive anti-gravity training.

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So two friends walk into a bar. One says to the bartender, "Get me a Miller Lite please." The bartender says, "Sure." The other friend says, "Get me a Cosmopolitan please." The bartender stares at him and says, "That is not the drink I was expecting you to order, but I respect your decision."

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How do you unclog a toilet? You call a plumber.

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"Knock Knock" "Whose there?" "It's who's." The grammar nazi has struck again.

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Bob: Whats the difference between a fish and a microwave? Steve: I don't know Bob: Daaaamn your dumb!

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Q: Why do homeless people smell bad? A: Because they live on the street and they dont take showers it's very sad sometimes.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? The Mets.

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A lion, a leopard, a sheep, and a flesh eating New Zealand parrot stalk, trot and fly, respectively, into a bar. The parrot lands on the the sheep's back and begins to tear into its flesh in order to reach the succulent deposits of fatty tissue located around the sheep's kidneys. "Ouch!" Said the sheep. "Why would you do that? Oh, the pain! The pain!" "Squak!", Replied the NZ parrot, wiping blood of its sharp, hooked beak on the counter. "I think," Began the lion, "This parrot from New Zealand is hungry for fat from a sheep's soft, woolly back." The sheep's wool was now damp with blood. "Perhaps this parrot from New Zealand wants sheep fat from its soft woolly back." "Ah!" Said the sheep. "This parrot from New Zealand wants sheep fat from my soft woolly back!" "Yes", Replied the lion. "You could also say..." Started the sheep, "That an NZ parro-" The sheep did not finish his sentence. He died from his wounds. The lion left. The parrot flew off to tear up some windshield wipers. And the leopard stashed the sheep carcass in a tree branch for later consumption.

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What is the difference between Steve Jobs and a PC? PC's are not dead.

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What do you get when you cross a cow with an elephant? A deformed organism

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Jennifer walks into a bar and orders a drink. The bartender's name was Steven. His friend's sister who was my cousin's ex wife has the same name as the girl Jennifer. That's what I heard.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? WHAT THE HELL DO YOU CARE? LET THE POOR CHICKEN IN PEACE! No, seriously he was going to his mother's funeral.

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Q: What's circlular and has two hands? A: A skinny person, i was kidding about the circular part!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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