you know why Michael J Fox makes the best milkshakes? no... but his milkshakes brings all the boys to the yard

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So I saw my asian friend at the beach on a really sunny day, so I said hi.

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A rabbi and priest both go into a bar... and they each had a responsible number of drinks before walking home.

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knock knock. Who's there? Jehovah's witness. *Door Locks*

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Whats worse then Justin Bieber? It's a trick question, there's is nothing worse than her

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what did the lion say to the zebra? roar!

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The jets are a good team..

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Friends are like potatoes. When you eat them, they die.

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A family walks into a talent agency. It's a father, mother, son, daughter and dog. The father says to the talent agent, "We have a really amazing act. You should represent us." The agent says, "Sorry, I don't represent family acts. They're a little too cute." The mother says, "Sir, if you just see our act, we know you would want to represent us." The agent says, "OK. OK. I'll take a look." The family performs an array of disgusting sexual acts. For the longest time, the agent just sits in silence. Finally, he manages, "That's a hell of an act. What do you call it?" And the father says, "It has no name."

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Roses are red. I had no clue. I like pie. So screw you.

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What's black and blue and red all over? A person who was just in a fight.

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Womens rights

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When I was in 4th grade, I was fat. The other kids would take my lunch and spit in all the food, then give it back. Teachers started to wonder why I wasn't eating, and soon began to ask me if I was anorexic. I replied, "do I look anorexic!?" I'm now 6 foot 3 and weigh 56 pounds. *FUN FACT: based on a heartwarming true story.

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why did the mexican cross the road? to get to the lawn mowing shop becuase his wife has breast cancer, and he cant pay the bills sitting on his butt and getting a check from the government every month

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Q: What did the doctor say to his wife? A: Penis.

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A man was driving five penguins across the Croatian-Serbian border. He was a penguin smuggler.

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What did the rapist say when he spotted the young girl? I am going to rape you!

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A polar bear walks into a bar, sits down, and says, "Can I have a.........................beer?" The bartender asks, "Why the large pause?" The bear responds, "I have a speech impediment"

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? Because her dad through a fridge at her

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women's rights

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Roses are red Violets are blue Not all poems rhyme Penis

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A kid walks in to a bar. The bartender asks the boy where his parents are and he replies that he does not know. They call the police who proceed to try to contact the boy's parents. They have gone missing so the boy must go up for adoption. He gets adopted by an abusive family and runs away. Without a family, job, or money, he could not afford a house. He lived alone in a box until he died of starvation.

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What's black and white and red all over? I don't know either.

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Why did the kid start to cry? His parachute didn't open.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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