what did the banana say to the apple i dont know because bananas dont talk

thumb_up thumb_down +47

Fool me once, shame on you Fool me twice, shame on me Fool me 3 times, oh now you're just being a jerk

thumb_up thumb_down -6

There may be 50 ways to leave your lover, but there are only 4 ways out of this airplane..."

thumb_up thumb_down

autsim

thumb_up thumb_down +6

yous are all f u c k i n g dumb like rat kavanagh

thumb_up thumb_down -6

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple Not the holocaust

thumb_up thumb_down -17

What do kittens and napkins have in common? You can sneeze into both of them except the kitten doesn't like it

thumb_up thumb_down -1

What is long and black? The line at KFC

thumb_up thumb_down -3

outside your comfort zone

thumb_up thumb_down +1

A man walks out of his house and sees a......BIRD!!!

thumb_up thumb_down -25

What is big, hard, and bushy? My Penis. I lied about it being bushy.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

How do you make a clown sad? Kill his family.

thumb_up thumb_down -54

What happens to a banana after it gets sunburnt? It peels.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

why was little jimmy sad? he had a frog stapled to his mouth why did little jimmy drop his ice cream cone? he got hit by a bus why did little jimmy fall of the swingset? he didnt have any arms what did little jimmy want for Christmas? parents what did he get for Christmas? cancer knock knock whos there? not jimmy

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Two farmers are sitting in a cold field. One asks, "Cold day, isn't it?" The other farmer doesn't respond as he has been frozen to death and because of his death, he is unable to respond.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

What do you get when you combine KIA and NOKIA? A cheap vehicle with a cheap mobile phone inside.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

Q: What does a bunny and a plum have in common? A: They're both purple except the bunny.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Why was the boy in hospital? He fell off the bus and was run over by many cars.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Why did the boy fail his test? Because he got shot before he could even study.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

why did the little boy put a bandaid on his knee. it doesn't really matter, he has cancer.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Knock knock. Who's there? Conscience. Conscience who? Oh, sorry about that Hitler, you wouldn't know who I am.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Whats worse than dropping your apple? The Japanese earthquake!

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Why did the Kitty stop meowing? Because its dead.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Yo mamas so fat

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops