Whats the best way to get a woman to sleep with you? Rape her

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Why didn't Jane buy an ice-cream? Because she was lactose intolerant.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Why is this an anti-joke? Are you laughing? Exactly.

thumb_up thumb_down +36

Q: Why does Bill Gates give so much money to charity? A: Because he wants to improve the lives of his fellow human beings, and also excessive wealth would be detrimental to his children.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

What's mean to black people? The economy. But, I forgot to mention that it's not nice to whites, hispanics, asians or anyone else.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

A man in a restaurant says "Waiter! What's this fly doing in my soup?" The waiter apologizes and offers to comp the meal.

thumb_up thumb_down +32

What do you get after putting bread in a toaster? -Toast.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Why did the maths book commit suicide? It wanted to be history

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Why can't antelopes fly? Because they can't

thumb_up thumb_down +6

I don't know which one is emptier my bank account or my love life

thumb_up thumb_down -1

How do you get a dog and a baby mixed up? You stir your chili.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

A black guy. A Jew and a dyke died in a plane crash!:) Who was flying? ....why would you be wondering that when you should be wondering why i put a smile-face beside the details of the crash..

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Some of these jokes are funny, others are sad.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

A guy walks into a bar and falls.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

what do you call a cow with no legs? ground beef

thumb_up thumb_down +36

A man buys cocaine from a shady dealer in an alley. He then goes home and experiments with it and other chemicals, and later on invents Coca Cola

thumb_up thumb_down -5

why did the little girl fall off the swing she had no arms

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Why did the man drown in the bath? He was a quadriplegic and couldn't support himself above the water.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

whats the difference between colby and a high schooler? Colby hasn't matured yet

thumb_up thumb_down -1

why dont they make black forks

thumb_up thumb_down -8

A boy walks into his friend's house for a party. While he waits for his friends to return from the bar he realizes there are many people waiting in different lines for various kinds of drinks. After his friends return he decides he does not want any of the carbonated drinks they had ordered, instead he chooses to wait in the fruit punch line. There is no punch line.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Chuck Norris doesn't call the wrong number. He calls the right number.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

What do you call an German with a knife in his leg ? An ambulance as he has a serious leg wound and will soon die of blood loss

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Woman:I give my Heart to You! Man:Thank You!!! The Woman then dies because one can't live without a heart

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops