Q: What's white, is Mel Gibson, and would kill someone if it fell out of a tree? A: Mel Gibson.

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What's worse than opening your pantry door and finding nothing desirable to eat? Repeated high voltage electrical shocks to the anus.

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Knock Knock. Ow! Why you hit me!?

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Knock knock Who's there? Hurry up, let me in! Hurry up, let me in, who? *gunshot*

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How do you kill a retard? you shoot him in the head

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Your mother is so fat, she developed diabetes and was rushed to hospital. She might not make it.

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want to get screwed for four years? VOTE REFUGLYCAN!

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Why did the airplane crash into the ocean? Because the pilot was a loaf of bread.

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How does a black man spell Jack J-A-C-K

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What happened after the man with no arms and legs lost his keys? He called the police.

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why did the dog chase the cat? because the cat chased the dog first.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was Suzy Knock Knock Who's There The Holocaust

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What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? One is a person and one is a pizza.

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What's the difference between a blonde and a brunette? The pigmentation of their hair follicles.

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roses are red and violets are in fact violet

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What do you call a man with no arms or legs? Names.

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What do you call a middle-aged man at a preschool? A teacher.

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How many babies does it take to paint a wall? Depends how hard you throw them.

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What do you get when you cross an intersection? Possibly a lower leg contussion, ACL tear, breaks in 4 different sections of your arm and lots of brain swelling if you are hit by a car.

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If a tree falls in the woods and no one is around to hear it does it make a sound? I don't know... Does the deaf woman locked in my basement?

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Knock knock It's open, come in.

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a naked man walks into a bar. he is promptly escorted out because you must have shoes and a shirt to be served

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I came up with one when my friend Sam told me the fortune from her Jone's Soda. A change of heart may lead to a new living environment, a change of heart may also lead to death.

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Religion

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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