What do you get when you cross a Poodle with a cupcake? Stop looking at these anti-jokes and get back to work.

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Knock, knock. The man knocking finds a note taped to the door saying "we'll be back in a week", the man proceeds to walk back home and tell his wife that they weren't home and that he'll return the rake he borrowed from them next week when they're back.

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A man walks into a bar not a duck though

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Why are Asians bad drivers? There Not. Have you ever seen Tokyo Drift?

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What is small, naked and covered in sperm My son

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I milked the cow, but no gas came out.

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Why do you always loose your keys at monster truck rally's? Most likely because they fell out during all the excitement of jumping up and down, but the real reason is because they are afraid of monster cars.

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What does a cannibal do after dumping his girlfriend? Procedes with his long difficult hunt to find another companion who accepts him for what he is, without the fear of being eaten.

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what happens when u mix a car, a blimp and a plane? I don't know.

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what the hell happened to your face

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Guest what? Dog

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Why can't the boy ride his bike to school? It has no wheels.

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Why was six afraid of seven? Because seven was black.

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What do you call a black man in space? A space monkey.

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Three men walk into a bar. You'd think one of them would have seen it.

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What did the farmer say when he couldn't find his tractor? Hey, where'd my tractor go?

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Why did the plan crash? Because the pilot was a potato

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An Englishman, Irishman and Scotsman walk into a bar. It happens frequently at UK airports.

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Q: What weighs 6 ounces, is extremely dangerous, and lives in a tree? A: A sparrow with a machine gun.

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A baby seal walks into a club.

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heres a great game to play... DEATH TO BABIES!

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Roses are red Violets are blue (not really) I have Alzheimer's Cheese on toast

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? 7 commited statutory rape on a younger 5, gang banged 8 with 10 and 11, murdered 9, and was sentenced to jail for life.... eventually the case was dropped and 7 was let out early for community service. He told 6 he was coming for him 6 months later.... 6 was so terrified he didn't know what to do... he was living in fear... eventually he commited suicide by jumping off a cliff just off the coach of Palm Beach into the pacific ocean. His body was never found His family didnt get to say good bye... This is why 6 was afraid of 7

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A man walked into a bar. He was meeting his friends but was 30 minutes early so he went down the road to buy some food. He had recently began dieting after watching a series of lifestyle programs which informed him of the potential risks involved with high cholesterol and blood pressure levels. He purchased a garden salad and a freshly squeezed orange juice, and made it back to the bar in time to meet his friends.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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