Why did Sarah limp to school? Because she got hit by a tree

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Roses are red, Violets are red, Trees are also red, "Honey, please call the fire department!"

thumb_up thumb_down

A seal walks into a club. And proceeds to die. Why? The seal isn't able to walk so it was crawling and a man was swinging a club to it's head, so it perished and he could feed his family. The Statement was censored by the FCC

thumb_up thumb_down -22

What happened to the black guy that rammed his ankle against the bed frame? Yelled profusely until it stopped hurting.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

What do you call something that shoots out a white gooey liquid? A shampoo bottle

thumb_up thumb_down -27

Whats funnier than a anti-joke? 911

thumb_up thumb_down +20

wanna know the biggest joke on antijoke.com? People's spelling.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

A woman says Renae has a butt... Two men say we don't care we have her hammer. True story.

thumb_up thumb_down -28

Lebron Traveled

thumb_up thumb_down -6

A man walks into a bar, he purchases a drink from the barman proceeds to finish the drink and then leaves.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

Real Joke: The US Air Force operates Seymour Johnson Air Force Base. It is named for a seaman. Go look it up.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

What's red and smells like blue paint? Red paint.

thumb_up thumb_down +57

If a blonde and a brunette fell off a cliff who would reach the ground first? The blonde because she was fatter.

thumb_up thumb_down +38

Jim: Kevin, how old are you? Kevin cries because they are twins. His Brother was hit in the head with a bat yesterday and does not remember anything.

thumb_up thumb_down

Guy: If I could re-arrange the alphabet, I would put I and u together. Girl: Really because if I could r-arrange the Alphabet I would put f and u together

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What did polyvore say to wanelo? Nothing They are apps

thumb_up thumb_down +171

here kitty kitty

thumb_up thumb_down -7

What's green and invisible? This cabbage

thumb_up thumb_down -7

A man approaches an attractive young woman at a party. He asks her if a rag smells like chloroform and proceeds to hold the rag up to her face. She passes out, the man takes her into a nearby bedroom and rapes her. He casually leaves the party. He will most likely continue this vile act for years to come.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

When life gives you lemon squeeze it in someone's face

thumb_up thumb_down +19

The government makes a good decision

thumb_up thumb_down +43

Whats long, green and falls out of trees? A canoe. Why did the old man fall out of the tree? He was in the canoe.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

A man walks into a bar and orders a beer. His family is struggling financially and his children are severely malnourished. If he wasn't an alcoholic, he could afford healthcare for his family and move into a better neighborhood. But he's not, so they will die a long, painful death.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

Why did the chicken cross the road? Yes.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops