What do you get when you run from Long Island to New Mexico? Tired.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Your mom is so fat that she saw a school bus full of white children and , thought "I can hardly even remember a time when my body used to be slim." She now keeps track of her diet and exercises regularly,the result of this has been a weight loss of over 95 pounds.

thumb_up thumb_down -30

What's worse than finding a real joke on anti-joke? Getting voted down to page 4067

thumb_up thumb_down -17

What did the man say when he turned on his car? AAAAAAGGGGGGHHHHHHH!

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree, because it was dead. why did the second monkey fall out of the tree, becuase it was dead. why did the third monkey fall out of the tree, because he thought it was a game!

thumb_up thumb_down -11

How do you get a blonde to stop talking? Hit her in the head with a brick.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Feeling alone fast after opening your mouth? Feel that people ignore your conversations? BUY A PARROT! Teach it to say AHAH!... And Uhuh, and I PERFECTLY UNDERSTAND! Now YOU CAN BE APPRECIATED INSTANTLY BY A BIRD THAT DOES NOT KNOW WHAT THE FUCK YOU ARE SAYING!

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Whats the difference between the holocaust and Norm McDonald? One can be laughed at the other is Norm McDonald.

thumb_up thumb_down +45

why does everyone hate chris. cause he's a douchebag.

thumb_up thumb_down +37

Two Iranian men walk into a bar and order a Coke and a Lemonade. The Barman said take a seat and he'll bring them over.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

What do you call a black man running down the street? A promising athlete in training.

thumb_up thumb_down -77

What did the clown say when he was denied health insurance? Nothing, he died of his pre-existing heart condition.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

How do you beat someone in a video game? You win it.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

What runs faster than a dead baby? Almost everything.

thumb_up thumb_down +36

Q: Why do so many of these anti jokes contain refrigerators? A: Seriously I don't know why

thumb_up thumb_down +22

You Mom is so ugly, It makes sense why you always have that look on your face!

thumb_up thumb_down -5

There was a horse in a very hot sumer day. He was in the middle of corn field It was so hot that the corns started popping out. The horse thought it was snowing and died of cold.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

God made Coke God made Pepsi God made me, Oh so sexy

thumb_up thumb_down

Whats worse than eating a worm? Haveing a worm die in your penis.

thumb_up thumb_down +39

What do you call a man who never farts in public? A private tooter!

thumb_up thumb_down -23

Billy was so silly that he named his pet zebra Spot.

thumb_up thumb_down -28

what do you call a room full of one terrorist and several babies? dead babies

thumb_up thumb_down +5

What do you call a man with a spade in his head? An ambulance.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Knock Knock Who's there? Hodor

thumb_up thumb_down +41

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops