Why did the jewish plumber commit suicide? After years abuse from his alcoholic father and rich sibling, he finally snapped and killed himself on his birthday after nobody told him happy birthday.

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A blonde, a brunette, and a redhead walk into a bar. They order a few drinks, chat, and walk out.

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A man with Tourette's syndrome walks into a bar. Because of his disease, he shouts unexpected profanities across the room, and everybody in the bar bursts into laughter. The man cannot handle the humiliation anymore and goes home. He opens a drawer in his bedroom, pulls out a gun, and points it at his head. His wife walks in on him about to commit suicide. She is horrified. He then looks at her and then down, and he notices his one and only daughter by the age of 7 is by her side. The man ponders his reckless decision he was about to make. Moments later he and his family are holding one another sobbing in each others arms. A few days later the man goes back to the bar and shoots everybody there. Shocked and afraid, he curled up into a ball and regretted his decision. An hour later the police arrived and he was sentenced to life in prison for 3rd degree murder. His wife moved on and started a new family with his former best friend, and his daughter vists him every first tuesday of every other month. The man still suffers from Tourette's and cannot control his ticks and rots in jail. He continues to scream random obscenities for the rest of his life with no parole.

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Knock knock Who's there? The police, your mother is dead.

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There was this girl who suffered for her whole life and then she died. It was very liberating.

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what did the paraplegic get for his birthday? a bike...

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What happened to the man who poo'd too much? He started to eat less because his bowell movements started to cause him serious pain.

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Why was the blackman fired from his job? Beacuse he was late too many times which was unacceptable.

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why did the duck fall in the water? It got shot

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Which came first, the chicken , the egg, the chick, the dinosaur, or the fried chicken nuggets?

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I you beat Chuck Norris in arm wrestling, you will be proud of yourself and he will go home with nothing.

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Knock Knock Who’s there? Wolf Wolf who? Wolf who!? Is that really the first question that comes to mind when confronted with a talking wolf?

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My wife's star sign was Cancer and its quite ironic how she died really... She was attacked by a giant crab.

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My period is red, Your sauce is white, now pull down your pants and let me do my workout.

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A black man in a hooded sweatshirt is sprinting down a back alley. He is trying to get into better shape by exercising and knows a shortcut to his house.

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Roses are red Violets are blue If I see another Joke like this (besides mine) I'll kill you

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What gets wetter as it dries? Sarah Jessica Parker

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A clown walks into a bar and orders a pie. After about 2 minutes, the bartender gives him a pie. Later, a blonde walks into a bar and orders a cake. After about 1 minute, the bartender gives her a cake. Then a dog walks into a bar. It doesn't order anything because it's a dog.

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How are leprechauns and lions similar? The both start with L.

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So, a guy sees a guy, and asks that guy if he's seen a guy who knew this guy who saw this guy who killed this guy, who knew a guy who is Barack Obama's best friend. Oh wait, Barack Obama doesn't have any friends.

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What's funny about Antijokes.com? Everything

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Whats the best part about 23 year olds? Theres 20 of them

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What do you call a man that likes to play baseball? A Baseball Player.

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how do you wake lady gaga up? you hit her in the face with a frying pan

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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