What did the deaf person see? He was blind too, so he didn't see anything.

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why did the monkey fall out of the tree? cause it was dead

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A middle aged man goes to a psychic. She tells him that he has prostate cancer, and his wife has been cheating on him for the past 3 years.

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What was the best part of the holocaust? A: none of it, it was a terrible event in history and hopefully is never repeated

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Why couldn't the blonde read the road map? Because she was blindfolded and tied up in the trunk.

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Your Mom is so poor she can't afford home-owners insurance.

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What dod the boy with no arms get or christmas? Nothing he can't open them!

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I wanted to impress this girl by showing her that I was good in math. So I went up to her, and told that I knew that the value of pi is 3.141592653589793238462643383279502884197169399375105820974944592307816406286 208998628034825342117067982148086513282306647093844609550582231725359408128481 117450284102701938521105559644622948954930381964428810975665933446128475648233 786783165271201909145648566923460348610454326648213393607260249141273724587006 606315588174881520920962829254091715364367892590360011330530548820466521384146 951941511609433057270365759591953092186117381932611793105118548074462379962749 567351885752724891227938183011949129833673362440656643086021394946395224737190 702179860943702770539217176293176752384674818467669405132000568127145263560827 785771342757789609173637178721468440901224953430146549585371050792279689258923 542019956112129021960864034418159813629774771309960518707211349999998372978049 951059731732816096318595024459455346908302642522308253344685035261931188171010 003137838752886587533208381420617177669147303598253490428755468731159562863882 353787593751957781857780532171226806613001927876611195909216420198938095257201 065485863278865936153381827968230301952035301852968995773622599413891249721775 283479131515574857242454150695950829533116861727855889075098381754637464939319 255060400927701671139009848824012858361603563707660104710181942955596198946767 837449448255379774726847104047534646208046684259069491293313677028989152104752 162056966024058038150193511253382430035587640247496473263914199272604269922796 782354781636009341721641219924586315030286182974555706749838505494588586926995 690927210797509302955321165344987202755960236480665499119881834797753566369807. She had a psychotic episode.

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What do u call a man with no arms and no legs and is laying in front of a door? Matt

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Q. What did Tarzan Say when he met Jane? A. Tarzan Being raised by apes and not learning English would have no knowledge of the language and would probably hoot and screech like his fellow ape brothers

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Who is the funniest guy on this planet? Mike the Situation.

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What is red and sits in the corner? A naughty strawberry.

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What did the spoon say to the other spoon? Nothing, it is a spoon.

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#Cutforbieber - Cole g.

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Why did Johnny fall off of the swing? The swing was defective. Knock, knock. Who's there? Johnny's lawyer.

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Your mom is so fat that she has type 2 diabetes.

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Why did Billy drop his ice cream? He was hit by a bus

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What do you call a Black man with AIDS? Unfortunate.

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Why did the middle-eastern man fly his plane into the Empire State Building? Because he was a bad pilot with an interest in American architecture.

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Why did the black man have to stand in the bus? All of the other seats were taken.

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Q. what is black ans white and red all over A. a shot to death zebra

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A black guy walks down the street. He sees a lamp, picks it up and rubs it. A genie appears and says that he has 3 wishes. The black says he wants to be thin, white, and get alot of pussy. The genie says, congadulations your a condom!!

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I said I hate niiggers

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Roses are gray, violets are gray, everything's gray, bitch im a dog.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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