Jesse is so fat, his weight on his scale says " hahaha gotta love childhood obesity"

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Roses are red Violets are blue I'm schizophrenic And so am I

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A horse walks into a bar... just kidding the doors were to smal.l

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MR MCANN WHAT COLOUR IS YOUR PUBES ?

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69

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What did the fridge say when I opened it? Nothing.

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What would you do if your penis disintegrated? Never mate again.

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A: "How much rope does it take to hang a baby?" B: "I don't know, how much?" A: "The guy at Home Depot didn't know either."

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What did the blind, deaf, and dumb child get for Christmas? Cancer.

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Knock knock Who's there? Illiteracy.

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Do you want to come with me? NO! oh i wanted to cum on your face. Thats god damn gay Nope thats god damn sexy.

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What did the red bag have written on it? Yellow bag

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What do you call a baby with no arms or legs? You call a lawyer, and be sure to have him ask the mother if she took Thalidomide during pregnancy.

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Are you made out of silicon, because you are silly and your name is Con.

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Why is Lindsay Lohan out of prison? No, I'm asking.

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Why did the baby start crying? Its mom slapped it in the face, causing permanent brain damage that would haunt it throughout its life.

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Ok, so, a big moose walks into a store and he looks around for potatoes but he cant find any. So he asked a worker, "do you know where the potatoes are?" and she says, "the potatoes are in aisle 3." So the moose goes to aisle 3 and there aren't any potatoes!

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Why was the girl-scout crying? I hit her in the knee with a baseball bat.

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Ill wait for you as long as you need Nero, I am just so glad you are alive and well... I know you, you would not be this chatty unless you where doing far worse, I know you will recover, dont think about the time for my sake, ill refresh this page every five minutes or so.

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What do you tell a woman who claims that she is going to yell "fire" in a crowded movie theater? That doing so could result in serious injuries or even death, and that she would be wise to reconsider her future options, as she could be held responsible for any and all problems that arise.

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Have I ever told you that you looked beautiful? No. Ok, good.

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Cool story bro. Tell it again.

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Q: What does a really poor kid say to his friends? A: I hate over working for 75 cents an hour...

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I've got a joke for you. The people writing these jokes. Thats a joke.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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