A horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks "Why the long face?" The horse replies "My wife just died from pancreatic cancer."

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What's the difference between a box of dead babies and a Lamborghini? I don't have a Lamborghini in my garage

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Whats worse than not coming up with an original anti joke? Nothing.

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why did the irishman need plastic surgery? because after the bear attack where there used to be a face there is now a gap

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Life is like a box of chocolates. You eat them. get fat. Die.

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What happens if you type "Michael Jackson" divided by "Friends" on a calculator? DIVIDE BY 0 ERROR.

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What's red and green? A frog in a blender

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There once were 2 cowboys who were lost on a dusty trail. Later on they found their way out and are now doing very successful

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How do you stop a air plane? You throw small infants into the turbine.

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What's worse than being raped? Being raped twice.

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Why wasn't the man able to see his son? He got run over by a train. Knock knock Who's there? The man. He was kidding about being run over.

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What would we do with out women? Die and then become extinct

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Q: If Jack Bauer is partially gay, then what are you? A: His sidekick -Ryan Vallee

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What kind of fire alarm does a zebra not like? One that doesn't work

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So a bar walks into a man...

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Why did the guy eat his mom? people get hungry in this world

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http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tw10xa_xtNg

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Why was the black man drowning? His boat sank.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? I can't really remember the reason, it was about 5 years ago and a lot of things have happened since.

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What did the fish say after he swam into a wall? Dam

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What did the boy with no arms and legs get for Christmas ? Cancer

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What's the difference between a black man and a bunk bed? A bunk bed is stable and can support two children.

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Q: How do get a person to leave you alone ? A: Suck out his eye-balls stuff them in your ears to muffle the sound of his screaming as you head-butt him into a fine paste. Then proceed to spread or squeeze sed paste on to delicious food substance and eat sed delicious food substance. Then carry on with the rest of your day like nothing happened. (P.S. Just ignore any letters about court cases or arrests)

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yo mama so fat the only thing stopping her from going to Jenny Craig is the size of the door...

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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