What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? "I have a gambling problem."

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knock knock who's there? bell bell who? bellend

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A man walks into a bar... He has a severe drinking problem, and his wife weeps for him

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What does a person with Alzheimer's do? To get to the other side.

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What do you call a dog with no legs? Doesn't matter, he won't come.

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Q. How did the man with no legs get to places? A. He didn't, he died at his house alone

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Child birth. So easy women can do it.

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arena football

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What do you cal it when a black person gets married to a white person inner racial marriage

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I AM SATAN, YOU SHALL LOVE ME BEFORE EVERYBODY ELSE! YOU SHALL STONE THY INSOLENT CHILDREN! THY SHALL R*PE AND KILL IN MY NAME! YOU SHALL HANG MY SON ON THE CROSS WHICH I SACRIFICED BECAUSE HE IS IMMORTAL/BECAUSE I LOVE YOU? "Moral" "Man": Joke is on you, who do you think I am, God?

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What did the anorexic girl say to the skilled psychologist? Fuck off you'll never understand me.

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What did the murderer do to the dentist? Nothing, the murderer has served his time and is clean. But he did get his teeth cleaned.

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women

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What has 8 legs and makes women scream? .....Gang rape.

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Toilet Sex, Toilet Sex I Love Toilet Sex!

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Your friend is so retarded I am getting a bit worried and his mother should take him to get tested for mental retardation.

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Why does the Taliban forbid people from having sex standing up? It might lead to dancing. And then, of course, death.

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Did you hear the one about Helen Keller? No. Well neither did she.

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Jesus walks into a hotel, slams four nails down on the counter, and says, "Put me up for the night!" The concierge looks at him and says, "You're not Jesus. Jesus was brutally murdered approximately 1,970 years ago. And although I may not be a believer, his teachings have brought comfort and solace to millions of people around the world. Nor do we accept nails as payment. Please remove yourself from the premises or I will call security."

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Why did Jake have a bad spring break? Because he got hit by a car and died

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Why don't Mexicans sneak back across the border? Because there are more opportunities and free stuff here. Why would they want to leave, especially at the risk of getting caught for crossing in a sneaky fashion?

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Why did Polly fall off her roof? Because her dad pushed her.

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Why do most married men die before their wives? Men have on average a shorter life expectancy than women.

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Q: My hands are queefing vaginas A: Milk isn't wearing underwears

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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