Two horses were discussing their racing records. The first said, "In my whole life I had won ten races." The second horse says, "Well, I've won twelve of those!" A greyhound trotting by chimes in, "Not bragging guys, but in my career, I've won twenty!" "Unbelievable!" exclaimed both horses. "It's a talking dog!"

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Why was 6 afraid of seven? because 7 brutally beat and raped 9

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Why do ducks have flat feet? To stomp out forest fires Why do elephants have flat feet? To stomp out flaming ducks

thumb_up thumb_down -26

jimmy walked into a bar, then walked out crying and all desperate seeing his wife cheating on him with another guy sitting in the bar. he jumped in front of a bus and was taken to the hospital. He died due serious injuries. Turns out that it wasn't his wife but her twin sister that neither jimmy nor his wife was aware of her existence.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

What did your mother say after I beat her? Nothing, because she was dead.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Man who wrote "The Hokey Pokey" died. Hard part was getting him into the coffin. They put his left leg in and then the trouble started..

thumb_up thumb_down -5

How do you get your lawyer to shut up. Hit him with a bat.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

There was a blonde, brunette, and a redhead. They are finally spending a relaxing afternoon together as a result of being restricted to their heavy therapeutic sessions which they are constantly in need of because all three have been diagnosed with clinical depression since everyone jokes about them so much and in conclusion, they don't see each other very often.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Knock Knock COME IN!!!!

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Two muffins are in an oven. How does that even work? Muffin pans come with either 6 or 12 muffin holders.

thumb_up thumb_down +35

What was the only thing the little boy from tanzania had? AIDS.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

How to condom style ayyyyyy sexy horsey how how how how how to condom style

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Yo mama's so stupid, I told her it was chili outside so she went outside with a spoon.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

What Did The Farmer Say When He Lost His Tractor.... "Wheres My Tractor"

thumb_up thumb_down -5

A man walks into a bar and says "Ouch."

thumb_up thumb_down +36

a man walked into a bar and ordered a beer. The Bartender says okay, here you go.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What's the difference between a woman and a car? A woman is merely a useful object, whereas a car deserves love, care, and respect.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

A handicapped man rolls into a bar. He buys a drink, talks for a while, and rolls out.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

all ur antijoke are belong to us or i mean we can share, whatever

thumb_up thumb_down

What did the computer say to the other computer? Nothing, computers can't talk

thumb_up thumb_down +28

Q: What did the man ask the waiter when he was seated at Cracker Barrel? A: May I please have more golf tees?

thumb_up thumb_down +7

where's mom I killed her

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Womens' Rights

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What did the Catholic Priest do to the 9-year-old boy? He ate him. The priest was actually Jeffery Dahmer.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops