whats worse then being lit on fire? dont worry about that right now your ass is on fire!

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You know, people are kind of like trees, they tend to fall over when you hit them multiple times with an axe.

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Rob Bell

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Did u hear about the jew that bought something not on sale? Neither did i.

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Did you hear about the peanut that was assaulted? He filed a police report weeks ago and is upset by the sluggish nature of the justice system.

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Your mum is so fat, she has a larger bmi than someone with a healthy bmi

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A man goes to his drug dealer to buy Meth, there is no joke here, he is addicted to meth.

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Why don't you see elephants find in trees? Because most trees can't hold an elephants weight.

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? Sally had no arms. Knock knock. Whose there? Not Sally.

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among liedbtt is my Captcha code

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Why did the man stand on one foot? Because he had one leg.

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What do you call a man who buys flowers, chocolates, and new jewelry for his wife? A kind, considerate husband.

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why was justin sad? his family was murdered

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A horse goes to the mall and when he is in the checkout line there is a man at the cash register the man at the cash register says "Why the long face?" and the horse replies "hey buddy, watch it!!!!!!!"

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what do you have to do to confuse a blond? Nothing

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roses are red violets are blue i suck at poems show me your boobs

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Superman vs Batman real fight: Batman: Hmm I believe that Superman might want to fight m*squish* Batman explodes in a bunch of meat as a blue and red blur is seen fly by. Extended Edition: Batman: Hah Superman I got kryptonite gloves so if you would just stand close to them for about five minute...*squish* Batsack of meat left we see nothing because Superman is FASTER THAN A SPEEDING BULLET. They are probably gonna go like every fucking crossover, first they squabble and throw a few punches for five minutes, then they realize that the LAX LADDER LEX LUGER AND LEX LUTHOR brothers made up some fake story so sups and bts kill each other while they blow up the world, so Btz, and Soup end up beating them up... Moral: "PFF! BATMAN HAS BEATEN UP SUPERMAN AND THE HULK IN THOUSANDS OF SHlTTY NON CANON STORIES!" (In where the one with the Hulk described the hulk to have the instincts and combat skills of a "dumb, animal like confused ape" yes actual quote, Batman punched this confused green ape across a door and kept beating "The Hulk" up as he ran around in "animalistic fear and "rage" receiving random kicks by Batman, then Btz throws some capsule that turns into a fishbowl with no oxygen that chokes The Hulk (supposedly to death) in a few seconds... The Hulk can like hold his breath for YEARS in space, (but you know these lethal fishbowls)

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I like my coffee the same way I like my women: without a penis!

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Why did the blonde laugh at the funeral? She suffers from autism, and doesn't understand when it isn't appropriate to laugh. The mourners at the funeral, understanding this problem, ignored her and carried on with the service.

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Christianity is not a religion; it's a relationship with God.

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what did lois call peter when she first saw him? i dont dont know do you?

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What do you call 5000 dead lawyers at the bottom of the ocean? A tragedy almost unparalleled in marine history.

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when the zombie apocolypse comes what do you do? you die

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When life hands you lemons, you should question your sanity

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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