Women.

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What has four legs one head but only one foot? A dog that was born with physical deformities.

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Knock knock! Who's there? ... There was no reply because the person who knocked was the mailman delivering a package, and he had a tight schedule so he couldn't stay around to chat.

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Teacher- Pick the odd one out- Man, whale, bat, squirrel, frog Student- Whale. All others are found in Nebraska

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What did the Jew say to the Catholic? Nothing. He is a mute you insensitive moron!

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whats worse than losing your pet rock? having your dog run over buy a car.

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What did the dog do when it raised its leg? It peed.

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book 'em danno

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An old bear-wrestler dies and finds himself at the pearly gates. Confused and at a loss for words due to the unfamiliar circumstance and lack of public toilets, he blurts out "Saint Peter, I presume?" but it was just the train conductor. "Ticket please." He searched his pockets and finally found the ticket. He wished he had a dog, but not a seeing-eye dog because people would assume he was blind. This story illustrates the importance of situational awareness, remembering which pocket you put your ticket in, and not forgetting to go before you leave because you don't know when you'll be able to find a restroom.

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A blonde asks, "How come i cant get this to go in there?" However no one replies because no one is there.

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A construction worker walks into a bar. Lucky he was wearing his hard hat.

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What happens when an old lady bumps into a black man in the middle of the night? He politely offers her help getting home and she accepts.

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What do you call a Icelandic man? A guy who lives in a snowhouse with a elevator

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Why did the old lady cross the road? Why not.

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Q. What is green and has wheels? A. Grass, I was joking about the wheels.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Pussy... Do you get it? Think about what you just answered.

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a jew, a gay, and an irishman walk int a bar at different times during the span of 5 hours.

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Knock-knock. Who's there? Penguin. Penguin who? Orange you glad I didn't say banana?

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Q: What did the black man say to the sheriff? A: Good day, officer

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What do you call a kid with headgear and one leg? Names.

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In the future... "Hey Apple! Hey, hey Apple!" "What the heck, Orange! You've been doing this for the last 10 billion years!"

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What did the sheriff call the death of a black man who was shot 14 times? -The worst case of suicide he'd ever seen.

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What happens when an alien touches fire? It gets burnt

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what did the jew say to the other jew in WWII?..... "We're both going to die."

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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