What two Mexicans call a stray cat? Gato

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whats worse then being a black kid with out a father? is not that bad it happens all the time

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What's black and sits in the back of a police car? The seat.

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What Did Sally Get For Christmas? A Bicycle

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So you go home and get on the computer. You have no internet so your stuck playing pinball.

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So you keep your knowledge sharp do you? When it comes to hypnosis and such?

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a man walks into a bar, only it was an alternate universe so there were dogs running the bar. the bartender dog called human control because it was unsanitary to have a human in a bar. the human was then escorted out by another dog and was taken to a hotel where he received no continental breakfast.

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What's the difference between a grape and a duck? They're both purple, apart from the duck.

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An American man stopped me the other day and asked for the time, I looked at my watch and said: 5 o'clock.

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GUYS! I GOT AN A IN MY PIANO EXAM!!!!!

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Why did the hamster run around the wheel.? Because he lived in a small cage and had nothing better to do.

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Q: What do you call a man with no arms and no legs going down a mountain? A: As good as dead.

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Wilson: would you buy lottery when you grow up Mattuew: no theres no point Wilson: ask Xiangxi right next to you Mattuew: xiangxi, would you buy lottery if you grow up? Xiangxi: Prabably not, because the chance of winning a lottery is lower than becoming an astronaut Mattuew: the probability of you winning the lottery is higher than you finding a girlfriend

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"Knock knock" "Who's there?" "Come in" "Come in who?"

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Your mom is so stupid she has trouble holding a steady job and struggles to support her family.

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I love telling anti jokes rather than jokes because I was born with a rare case of ebola and suffer from alcoholicationism

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Why was the plumber sad? Because his family died in a car crash

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Barack Obama, Mother Teresa and Stephen Hawkings had race. Who won? Barack Obama. This deduction can be made as Stephen Hawking is severely disabled by a motor neurone disease known as amyotrophic lateral sclerosis. Henceforth, he has very limited control over the majority of his body and is confined to a electric wheel chair. Thus, he could not participate competitively in the race. Moreover, Mother Teresa is dead. This unfortunate occurrence was caused by several myocardial infarctions in combination with pneumonia. Regardless of this, Mother Teresa's meek and frail build would slower her speed considerably; in comparison to Barack Obama's relatively athletic and robust frame. Nonetheless, President Obama is a smoker. Therefore, he may experience symptoms associated with emphysema during the race, causing him to retire. As such no-one would finish the race, leaving the spectators feeling very disappointed and empty.

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I used to not like my beard, but then it grew on me.

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What do you call a man who burns his country's flag on it's independence day? Unpatriotic

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There was a kid and one day he didnt do his homework...he failed.

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Nero the guy that killed four Neo Nazi`s desecrating the funeral of one of my late members in Chile with a revolver hidden in one of the 46 hidden pockets on the inside of his trench jacket with lots of folders here, inside whose only side effect is making me look like I spend a lot more time at the gym, later one of them found me, ran towards the police which laughed at him pointed at me and said: That guy with a prosthetic arm? You dont believe me... Excellent! Nero The Avenger

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the bible

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nick biggs ate a car well his name is nick BIGGS

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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