u know y blondes and tornadoes r so alike? first theres a lot of blowing and sucking, and then u lose ur house!

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Why couldn't the car drive? Because its wheels were made of butter.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

whats worse than war? being tied to a chair and watch your parents die.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Vote this down and get DOXED

thumb_up thumb_down +1

The 13th Amendment...

thumb_up thumb_down +10

How many Jews does it take to screw in a lightbulb. Two. But it would have to be a very big lightbulb to fit both of them in there.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

If you like this song so much why don't you marry it? Because a divorce would be tough on the kids

thumb_up thumb_down +3

So a jelly bean walks into a bar. The bartender asks him "whatchuu doin here jelly bean" the jelly bean doesn't respond and sits there awkwardly because he neither speaks English nor has the brain capacity to move or breathe. The bartender closes the store and comes back the next day to find the bean in the same awkward position.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

roses are blue violets red im color blind vatalk is gay

thumb_up thumb_down -28

PS: Call me a monster, The Devil, a Psychopath, but know this... For those of you that decide to become my pray by not choosing the right side... ...I have far since surpassed any state of fear, of evil, of darkness that you can think off... What you call fear and suffer now, is but mere entertainment for me, and in not too long, you shall remember those deepest horrors which you carry, as the last pleasure you remembered. Moral: Stand by my side those of you which desire to become the children of darkness, and I shall show you pleasure and love, for those that reject pleasure and love, are, and shall moreso become those which we hunt for whichever deprived desire that lies in the soul, in the name of love and respect for their lack of desire for love of course, as no desire for love, is to embrace the eternal desire of fear, as your heavenly father used to say, "surrender to darkness and fear" It wont be a choice soon, its not as if you humans ever where in control of your fears and nightmares. Amen? That only means let it happen... I will make it so. SOLVE media: Down the rabbit hole, coincidence you say... If this world experiences "coincidences", IT IS BECAUSE I MAKE THEM HAPPEN ON PURPOSE.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

What animal has four legs and one hand? Happy rottweiler

thumb_up thumb_down +36

Why did the black man walk into the catholic church? He was catholic.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

What do you call a chicken with no head? A chicken with no head.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

Why did the little girl cry in school? Because she remembered her parents were both in prison. She is in a state run foster academy.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

What's worse than eating a piece of elephant shit? Eating two pieces of elephant shit.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

what did the african man have for breakfast? Ebola cereal.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Bill and John are talking about types of cheese. The conversation drags on a bit and slowly changes topic. Bill says "I bet you I can bungy jump off a bridge". John chuckles before replying "I bet you can't". They go and find a bridge and Bill puts on his harness and ties himself to the side of the bridge. He throws himself off the edge and falls through the air screaming at the top of his voice. John cuts the bungy cord and Bill dies.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

What did the hitler youth kid get for Christmas? An easy bake oven and a G.I. Jew.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Q: What do you call a black man that's flying a plane? A: A pilot.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

My mom farted, now it smells, ewe. My mom just took of her shirt, BONER! My, friends mom took off her shirt, now he has a boner. We both have boners, and it smells bad. This is weird, me and my friend are very similar, except my mom farted and his mom did not. Now I hate my mom. UN-BONER!

thumb_up thumb_down +17

What do Chuck Norris and Oprah Winfrey have in common? They are both white, male, good actors, white, rich, and white. Except for the eagle.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Why didn't the man eat the carrots? Because he was a vegetarian.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

How do you make a dead baby float? Ice cream, root beer, and a dead baby.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Q:What do you call a sheep with no legs? A: A cloud.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops