What is long hard and woody? A tree.

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Q: How do you wake up Lady Gaga? A: You murder her friends and family.

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? She didn't have arms.

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'Knock Knock' "Who's there?" 'Nobody. Your schizophrenia has become so bad you can barely make it through a normal day without emotionally collapsing. Your social life has dissolved into a world of fear, and your personal relationships have crumbled away before your eyes. Major depression and anxiety are eating you away. You have nothing left.'

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knock, knock Sho'sthere? Sam who? Sam Butt

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What did the raped girl get for Christmas? Pregnant.

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What do you can a preschool on fire? A very dangerouse situation

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What's white, wet, and loved by women? A polar bear cub.

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Whats worse than getting in an arrow in the side of your neck Finding out there is a gas bill tied to it

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When life gives you Lebanon, make lebanonanade.

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The secret to McDonalds success is all their customers are to fat to leave

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What's green and has wheels? Grass. I was kidding about the wheels.

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how do you get lady gaga to wake up in the morning? Hit her with a brick

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How do you kill zombie Jesus? You can't.

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A fat man on a moped

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What did the gay man say to the other gay man? “How was your day?“

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What's the difference between a cow? Trick question—cows eat carrots!

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Why did John go outside? His house was on fire.

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The president is invited to a party at Bill's house. Suddenly the house catches on fire. Who survived? No one, they all died.

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Why did the bartender kick out the three jews at midnight? Because the bar closes at 11.

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Alternate ending for children: Despite the massive trauma that the spider suffered from his fall and the sheer volume of rain in the confined space of a pipe, it made a miraculous recover due to the sun coming out. It was however, forever doomed to repeat this cycle of undeath for ever more. [L]

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A horse walks into a bar and the bartender asks "Why the long face?" The horse replies "I have cancer"

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Tomorrow, today's yesterday.

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K.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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