Q-Why did the little boy feel hot? A-Because he faceplanted into a bonfire.

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A man walks into a bar. The bartender says, "What can I get for ya?" The man replies, "A beer."

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If you saw two guys named Hambone and Flippy, which one would you think liked dolphins the most? I'd say Flippy, wouldn't you? You'd be wrong, though. It's Hambone.

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What do you call a mailman who doesn't deliver mail? Unemployed

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( o Y o )

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What's big and fat? An obese man.

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what's funnier than hell? heaven

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? Wheres my tractor?

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How can you finally get your girlfriend to scream in the bedroom? Store the bodies there.

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A man walks into a bar, and sees another man with a huge orange head. He asks the bartender, "Do you know why that man has such a huge orange head?" The bartender replies: I dont know, maybe if you buy him a drink he'll tell you. So that man walks over to the man with a huge orange head and buys him a drink. He says to him: Excuse me, sir but why do you have a big orange head? The man with the big orange head replies: Well, one day I was walking along the beach and I found an interesting bottle. So I opened it and out popped a genie. He told me I had three wishes. The first thing I asked for was to have all the money that I wanted, and the means to get more. Suddenly, My pockets were overflowing with cash. So then I wished for the most beautiful, perfect woman ever created and there she appeared in front of me, and we immediately fell in love. The third thing I asked for was a huge orange head.

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A horse walks into a bar. the bartender asks, "Why the long face?" The horse does not reply because it is a horse. The horse walks out of the bar kicking over some chairs and scaring some people because he is a horse and horses do not belong in public atmospheres.

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Why did one sausage become scared of the other sausage? The first Sausage said " Hello " and the second Sausage said " OMG a talking sausage!!!" ...Jk sausages dont talk.

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What do you call a man with no arms and no legs in a pool The tragic drowning of a quadrapalegic

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What did the boy with no arms and no legs get for his birthday? a new bike.

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Humpdy dumpty sat on a wall and enjoyed his day off

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Beth got an aunt farm for her birthday.

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Hey, I just met you, And this is crazy. But I have Alzheimer's... Hey, I just met you...

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Q: What do you do when you meet someone new? A: You don`t know and expect me to do so? Get a life!

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What do you get when you cross an owl and a bungie cord? My ass.

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What did the man say when he was hit with a flying watermelon? Ouch.

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Why did the first monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? Some guy stapled it to the first monkey. Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? A terrorist threw a refrigerator at it. Why did the girl fall off her bike? She was hit by 3 dead monkeys and a refrigerator.

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Jared Gough is a slut

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whats better than holocaust...911 cardiac?

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your moms soooooo FAT that she went on a diet and became really sexy

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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