There was a blonde, a brunette, and a redhead. They all had different colors of hair.

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Q: Why was the man upset? A: He was kidnapped. Two cruel men tied him to a chair in an unknown location. This man was mistaken for someone who was planning to steal a big drug shipment. They beat him unmerciful, shocked him, and hit him in the head with a hammer, and threw him out in the street, with the belief of his death occurring. A driver stopped to help the man into the nearby hospital. The man was questioned about the physical appearance and whereabouts of these criminals. He remembered nothing, and sadly, they got away with this horrible crime.

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What do blueberries, oranges, watermelons, doors, curtains, backpacks, spoons, asian men, bicycles, asian men on bicycles, shrimp, books, eagles, dinosaurs, watermelons wearing backpacks filled with shrimp and orange spoons, feet, limes, binders, paper, candles, chicken nuggets, tvs, chairs, floors, refridgerators, and humidifiers have in common? Barnes and Noble

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If you were in a room with Osama bin Laden, Hitler, and a black guy and you had two bullets, who would you shoot? Seeing as this situation is logically impossible considering that Adolf Hitler died in the year 1945 and Osama bin Laden was born in the year 1957, I would be in a room with just a black guy and two bullets. Then I would proceed not to shoot the black guy on the fact that I enjoy the talking and learning about cultural diversities between the black and white races.

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Why did the man smell bad? He had not showered for several days

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What happens when your dog is bad? A crying dog who has to sleep in the BACKYARD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Stupid dog....

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Tom: God! Matt:Where? Tom:Matt i was saying God ! Jesus! Matt: God and Jesus! wow! Tom: why am i talking to you? Matt: Wanna play a game? Tom:bye.

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How do you keep an elephant from charging? Ask nicely.

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What's brown and sticky? Brown paint.

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A seal walks into a club...and is taken in custody by animal control due to the club having a no animal policy.

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Roses are red violets are blue. I'm falling in love with you.

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Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: Because his work office was there and if he had not crossed, he would have had to get back in his car and parked in the company parking space therefore taking more time and costing a small but significant amount of money

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A man walks into a bar and poops his pants. He left because of the embarrassment.

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What did the kid with no arms and legs get for Christmas? Presents.

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how do you get a happy man to stop smiling? hit him in the face repeatedly untill he is dead.

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What's worse than biting into an apple and finding a worm? Being raped by your uncle

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Straight man: Gays can't have babies so they shouldn't be allowed to have sex. Gay man: But you got a vasectomy last year, so you can't make babies either. The straight man sees the irony, realizes how judgmental he has been and never has sex again because he maintains his opinion that gays shouldn't have sex.

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Why couldn't the kitten drink from its water bowl? Its face was stapled to the floor.

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why did the kid kill himslelf? he was bullied.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Nobody cause your a loser.

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I met a muslim girl the other day Shes the bomb

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Why was the little boy sad? He had a frog stapled to his forehead

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A.do i have alzheimer's? B.yes A.do i have alzheimer's?

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captcha: all yer base

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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