Hitler, Goebbels and Göring walked into a bar. They ordered 3 steins and took their seats in quiet corner of the establishment. After short deliberation they were ready to start work on building a highway that would be the envy of the world.

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I like to thumb up my own jokes.

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Why does Stuart go to Zu Bar? Because he deals cocaine to his fellow raving companions

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What did the homeless man say to bill gates? Nothing he was about to die.

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Why did the ant cross the road? It was stapled to the chicken.

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what was postman pat's name before he was a postman? Pat.

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whats the point of anti jokes? A: the point that it is no point

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A man walks into a bar. He is knocked unconscious, and passers-by rush to his aid.

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Where did suzie go for her Birthday? A van

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Why did the black homosexual blind man want to go to the comedy club? He enjoys a good laugh

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Did you just fall from heaven? If not I'm gonna beat the shit out of you

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Roses are red, violets are blue, I had some crack, my unicorn says hi.

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A bar walks into a bar, it is then you realize you are in an alternate dimension.

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What is full of water and drowning people A pool

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69

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Q: Who lives in a pinaple under the sea? A: Garry

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Why can't black people be in a talent show? Because they'll steal the show.

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who's that hot blonde at the disco? your mother.

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What happens when you put a baby, a dog and a cat in the same bag They will all most likely suffocate if left in the bag too long

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A boy asks his teacher for a eraser....he was given a blue pen. Turns out he was in space.

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Jon waits in his driveway for a bit then rides off to a lemonade stand but doesn't stop because the stand is surrounded by police who have arrested the kids at the stand for selling spiked lemonade. He continues past the stand and goes somewhere else (probably Subway).

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why did the tortoise cross the road? it does not matter, it got hit by a vehicle and died on impact.

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Geuss what? Bob is wide awake and he likes strawberries but he didn't have any strawberries so he ate a hamburger but fred wanted a hamburger but bob ate it so he just ate bob but bob was wide awake so he saw fred eating him so he called the pigs to come and eat fred because pigs eat anything but the pigs had already eaten their daily freds so they ate bob because they hadn't already eaten their daily bob but fred had already eaten bob so they got angry at fred so they just ate him anyway but then they got fat so a wolf ate them but then some hunters killed the wolf and ate it so they are actually eating a hamburger because the wolf ate the pigs and the pigs ate fred and fred ate bob and bobb ate a hambuger but he actually likes strawberries.

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Why didn't Little Timmy's parrot talk? It's neck had snapped.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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