How do you survive the zombie apocolypse? You avoid dieing or being mutated in the living dead.

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The itsy bitsy spider climbed up the water spout. Heavy rain came down and killed him.

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*insert lame joke stolen from the top 10 jokes and think it's original because I changed one word*

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Farmer Ned chased his chickens before they laid their eggs, because he likes his eggs scrambled.

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What do you call a cow that is lying on a barn floor? A cow

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Did you hear about the dyslexic atheist that doesn't believe in god? His disorder has no effect on his belief system.

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Why did the boy die while brushing his teeth? The toothbrush wasn't water-proof.

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kevin kim

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Q Why did the man run away from his shadow? A He didn't it was physicaly impossible.

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Roses are Red Violets are Blue Walt dies in breaking bad.

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Q: Why was the blonde so dumb? A: Because she wasn't properly educated.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Hurricane Irene.

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Why did Mary fall of the swing? Because she had no arms. Who pushed johnny of the cliff? Certainly not Mary

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What do you get when ned puts toast in the toaster? A fucking massive sperm whale.

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25

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Q: why does the man like men? A: because he is gay

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What do you call a person with no life. Dead.

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The situation... Two black men are skiing down the Sahara. The Question... How much syrup does it take to kill a life-guard. The answer... The sunglasses because he never be a porcupine.

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Knock Knock Whos there? Knock knock? Whos there? Knock knock. WHOS IS THERE?!?!? Knock Knock is, my name is Knock Knock.

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I recently found out I have aids just kiddin heres the real joke... I recenly found out that Philidelphia means "City of Brotherly Love" and I said so do people in philly say its always free hug day in Phillipd fun house in philly?

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Alright, if you guess it right, I'll stop playing Mario and finish my division problems. Okay, Mom, call it in the air! Heads or Tails? Huntington's Disease is the reason your Father doesn't remember your name anymore, Billy. There's a fifty percent chance you'll end up with it too. I am so sorry. Also, Tails.

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What's the difference between a pile of dead babies and a bmw? I don't have a bmw in my garage.

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What was Hitlers first toy? An easy back oven.

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Why did the nervous man jump out of a plane? He was sky diving.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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