How many surrealists does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Fish.

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A man walks into a restaurant and asks a waiter, "Do you serve crabs here?" The waiter says, "Certainly! In fact, stuffed crab is today's special."

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Why are there so many blacks in prison? *The rest of this joke has been removed to avoid causing offence*

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What's better than a pile of dead babies? Anything.

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There was a girl who dumped her diver boyfriend because she couldn’t get him to give her a pearl out of an oyster. This particularly female has rather high expectations for her significant others.

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Have you noticed when you see geese flying and they're in a V pattern, often one side will be longer than the other? Do you know why that is? There are more geese on that side.

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Why did the student cry when he got an F on the test? because his dad beats him.

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Q: My mom's getting really old and It's starting to get hard to shop for her. Any ideas? A: You should get her a coffin.

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"Hey ask me if i'm fat" "Are you fat" "Leave me alone"

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Your mumma's so ugly. Period.

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why was the guy crying at the bar his house got bombed

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A white guy, a black guy, and a spanish guy jump off a building. They all die on impact and their families mourn their loss for years to come.

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Roses are red violets are blue i have HIV you should probably get yourself checked...

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What's the difference between a single mom and a stripper? Job status.

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What's worse than getting raped then killed? Getting killed then raped.

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When did Osama Bin Laden die? Nobody gives a @!?$

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In Soviet Russia, millions of innocents died due to the oppression.

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What is 4 letters and made out of wood? Wood.

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go F*** yourself

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A train conducter conducts goes at 60mph, when he goes under a bridge he goes at 52mph. When he goes over a hill he goes at 47mph. If he goes under 3 bridges and over 6 hills what did the conductors mother eat for dinner that night. Nothing, after many months of suffering she died from Huntington's disease.

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A murderer takes you hostage. He lists three ways that you will die, but he lets you choose your death: 1. A bullet in your head. 2. A knife in your heart. 3. A lethal injection. What do you choose? It doesn't matter. You're dead.

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A cathlic priest walks into a bar, but realizes there are no young boys hr could pickup.

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Why do sharks swim in salt water? Pepper water makes them sneeze! Why do whales swim in salt water? They can't survive in fresh water.

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What happened to the guy who bought a nice, brand new, plasma screen t.v.? He hanged himself.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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