If pro is the opposite of con, then what is the opposite of progress? Regression.

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mirror mirror on the wall who has the most desire of them all? Matt Daly!

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What do you call a fridge? A Fridge

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Why did Little Billy trip? Because I shot his foot off.

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Why did the turkey cross the road? His friend, the chicken, had just been hit by a passing car.

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A guy walks into a bar carrying an octopus under his arm. The bartender asks him, "say, buddy, what's with the octopus?" and the man replies, "this is the most intelligent octopus in the world. In fact, I bet you $100 that it can play any instrument you give it." The bartender snickers at the other patrons, and puts $100 on the bar. He motions the man over to the piano by the wall. The man puts the octopus on the piano, but it nothing happens. The octopus is dead, because it's been out of the water for a while. The bartender looks at the man sadly, as two psychiatric orderlies from the local mental hospital take the visitor away to the looney bin, after another patron called the police. The bartender never gets his $100, and now he has to clean up the godawful mess on his piano.

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Wanna Hear a joke.... Corey Jacobs is a FAT ASS

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I was walking down the street next thing I new 15 blacks and Hispanics died in a dive buy. The next day every white guy in the cars doin the drive buy blew up ohwell

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What do a priest, a rabbi, and an asian have in common? They all don't know each other.

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The homeless man first experience warmth....in Hell

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why did Mary fall off the swing? cuz she had no arms ------------------- knock,knock who's there? not Mary

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What's slow and spotted? A cheetah, I lied about the slow part

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A blonde, red head and brunette decide the jump off a cliff....... They all die

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What do you call a woman with one leg? I don't know. I am not in the position, currently, of knowing anyone who finds themselves in such an unfortunate condition.

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Love is in the air? Wrong. Nitrogen, Oxygen and Carbon Dioxide are in the air.

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Roses are red, Violets are red, Trees are red, Tulips are red, And my garden is red. OMG...MY GARDEN IS ON FIRE

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Why didn't the blonde have friends? She couldn't find them at the store.

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A drunk is pissing on the plaza and the cop stands next to him and says, very nice. The drunk says, that's what she said. : )

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A: Doctor doctor help me! B: Sorry, I'm not actually a doctor, stop calling me that!

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Why did the little girl fall of the swingset. She got kidnapt and raped by a giant scorpion.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Who cares

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How many Jews does it take to change a light bulb? One.

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A duck walks into a bar and asks for a beer. The bartender realizing this is an odd situation, seeing that ducks cannot articulate the English language, realizes he must be dreaming. He wakes up and turns to tell his wife about the dream, but she won't respond. He then realizes how his marriage is in shambles...

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Why was Billy lat to school? He was being raped.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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