Roses are dead Violets are dead I'm a terrible gardener.

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Why did the black man steal an inhaler? Because he was broke and he had asthma.

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Billy's alarm clock went off at 8:00 AM but Billy was really tired but still his Dad forced him to go to school.

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Why did the thief steal the kitchen sink? Everything else was stolen by another thief earlier in the day.

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Knock knock who's there? Hi! where from the church of latter day saints!

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Knock Knock *Opens door* Hi John, you got here right on time!

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What did the dinosaur say to the centipede? It's funny cause the dinosaur is big and the centipede is small.

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Roses are black, Violets are black, Everything is black, I am blind.

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how do you piss off a dyslexic? give him a crossword puzzle

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save water shower with friends

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When life hands me beef, I make lemon stew.

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a guy walks into a bar and finds an empty chair near the jukebox. He orders a drink and some peanuts and has a really good time listening to the music and drinking his beer.

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Why was the black man at the back of the bus... Cause all the other seats were taken

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What did the kid in the wheelchair get for Christmas? AIDS.

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So there were these two ovens in a muffin. One oven said "Holy fuck it's muffiny in here." The other oven said "Holy fuck a talking oven!"

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Dead on Aodhan your breaking te ten commandments by lying you jew you dont believe in the divinity of Christ.

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What happended to the family in the hurricane? They died stupid

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What is better than a Beer? Two Beers.

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Why was Michael Jackson so bad at dancing? Because he had a broken leg.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't it got hit by a speeding moped.

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Milk, milk, lemonade, around the corner fudge is made. This market has a very dynamic and fresh selection.

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What did the Democrat say to the Republican? "I am sorry about your mother". They had been good friends since childhood and the Republicans mother was soon to die from terminal cancer.

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Two ducks are sitting in the bathtub. One asks, "Hey, can you please pass the soap?" The other responds, "Sure, if you pass the typewriter."

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A dog walks into a bar and asks for a pint.. But is immediately turned away as dogs are not allowed in pubs.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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