Knock knock. Who is there? The FBI. They have a warrant for your arrest.

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Why did the woman not wear a bra? Because she had breast cancer and got a double mastectomy.

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A mormon walks into a bar.

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How many politicians does it take to screw in a light bulb? Ten. One to actually screw it in, and nine to stand around and say, "I can do it better."

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What's worse than finding an apple in your wo- wait, what?!

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Why did the police suspect a Hispanic man of theft? Because they found his fingerprints at the scene.

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Before you insult a man, walk a mile in his shoes. That way, when you insult him, you'll be a mile away, and have his shoes.

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Why was Jesus able to walk on water? Because he was the son of God and therefore devine, he can do whatever he pleases

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A llama walks into a pub. Actually, he didnt, because it is physically impossible for a llama to stand up and proceed to walk over 2.8 feet. That stat was a lie.

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your momma is so old, she has heart problems

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what is a model plus a poop plus a rhino plus a flamingo a peice of floob split in half or a shelby koon

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alert("The Game");

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what did the British horse say to the man who owned him? nothing all he sad was neigh.

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Whats red and smells like blue paint? Red Paint.

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chuck norris is meeeeean to pain.

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Q: What do you get when you cross an alcoholic and a sex addict? A: A baby

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If a tree falls in the forest, and only a deal man is there at the time, does it make a sound? And what are his odds of not being trapped under it, awaiting rescue?

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why did the kid go in his room and lock the door. to masturbate

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Microsoft Windows

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What's Red and Invisible? No Tomatos

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Some poems rhyme, Others don't.

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Knock, Knock Who's there? The KKK

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What did lil' Suzy do when she got home from school? She was violently mutilated by a bear then continually but raped by a man she met on the Internet. Needless to say, she had a great time. -Harrison

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A man walks up to a woman in a bar. They hit it off. That night they make wild sex and fall madly in love with each other. They start dating, it's so fantastic. They understand each other on almost every emotional and intellectual level. They have the same humor and they love spending time together. The sex is so great. After a few years, they get married, and they start the rest of their lives together. They have 2 beautiful children and their lives are blossoming. Fast forward 30 years. They are both retired old people, yet still madly in love. They live in their old home, and their lives are very comfortable. Their children have grown up into adults, and are very happy. Fast forward another 10 years, and they now live in an elderly home. They are both in wheelchairs and their health is slowly deteriorating. They die.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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