Did you know Helen Keller had a cat? Neither did she

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Knock knock. Who's there? Fire extinguisher. Fire extinguisher who? POMEGRANITES.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

What did the towel say to the other towel? Nothing, there was no topic of conversation.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

three blondes are walking along the beach on a desert island, they each have plans to escape. The first swims off the island but is swept in with the current back to land The second blonde burns an SOS into the sand using a rock and twigs-the wind blows it out The third, realising how immature her freinds were, reaches into her pocket and pulls out her mobile phone and begins dialling the coast guard.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Poop!!

thumb_up thumb_down -1

what did one mental hospital worker say to the other? Billy your not a mental hospital worker, give heather back her clothes so I can escort you back to your cell.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Your mama's so fat that she has type 2 diabetes.

thumb_up thumb_down +48

Why couldn't little Johnny drive the tractor? Because he had no arms. Why didn't he have any arms? Because he was a potato

thumb_up thumb_down +15

kyle dosnt eat dick...

thumb_up thumb_down -21

A man and a six year old boy are walking along a path through the woods on a moonless night. "Gee mister, I'm scared!" says the boy. "You're scared?" says the man. "I have to walk back alone!"

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What do you call a dog with no wings? A dog

thumb_up thumb_down +28

A little boy started choking on a condom. His father came and was in a great panic. "Please don't leave me. I don't want to lose you!" he cried over and over again. Then his wife came in and said "it's alright darling, there's plenty more in the drawer". "Oh, thank God for that, I thought I lost it there!" dad replied.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

A very unskillful basketball team enters a basketball tournament. They had little chance of winning and concluded with a loss.

thumb_up thumb_down +51

What's more stinky than a fart? More farts.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

A traveler gets a flat tire on an old farm road. He goes to the door of the neasrest farm and knocks. The farmer and his beautiful 21 year old daughter answer the door. Traveler: "I'm sorry, but I have a flat. Is there any place I can stay until I get it repaired?" Farmer: "Why yes. Our church sponsors a homeless shelter and rehab center down the road.I can give you a ride there if you like?"

thumb_up thumb_down -3

What's the difference between a baby and a tea bag? Tea bags don't scream when I dip them in boiling water

thumb_up thumb_down -10

tim rafter died no one cared

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Did you hear about the guy that came out the closet while at school? Yeah, Dylan Hodge is a dick.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Q.What's worse than running over a dog on the road? A.9/11

thumb_up thumb_down +26

A rabbi walks into a bar mitzvah

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Man who wrote "The Hokey Pokey" died. Hard part was getting him into the coffin. They put his left leg in and then the trouble started..

thumb_up thumb_down +6

The man said to his wife love hurts. the wife then progressed with punching in the face.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

When I was in 4th grade, I was fat. The other kids would take my lunch and spit in all the food, then give it back. Teachers started to wonder why I wasn't eating, and soon began to ask me if I was anorexic. I replied, "do I look anorexic!?" I'm now 6 foot 3 and weigh 56 pounds. *FUN FACT: based on a heartwarming true story.

thumb_up thumb_down

how many pancakes does it take to build a dog house? none boats don't have wheels.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops