Knock Knock. Who's there? The police. You're under arrest. The police you're under arrest who? Sir, if you don't open up the door we're going to have to open it ourselves. We have a warrant for your arrest. Sir if you don't open up the door we're going to have to open it ourselves we have a warrant for your arrest who? Sir we are authorized to use deadly force. If you don't comply we will shoot to kill. Sir we are authorized to use deadly force if you don't comply we will shoot to kill wh-

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How many frogs does it take to change a light bulb None. Frogs lack the cranial capacity to change said lightbulb. If eventually by evolution they become smart enough to change lightbulbs, they may learn to handle machinery and pose a real threat to humans.

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chuck norris's daughter lost her virgenatie but he got it back

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Knock, Knock Who's there? A robber who will most likely kill you along with anyone else who will ruin their chances of becoming more wealthy off your most prized possessions.

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What's the best thing to say to a deaf person? Nothing. They are hearing impaired and won't hear you.

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Yellow People !!

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Why does Owen Wilson have an ugly nose? Because of his refusal to get plastic surgery.

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lil billy wuz killed cuz of hiz relijuz beliefz

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Haikus are lovely But sometimes do not make sense Refrigerator

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What is the difference between a brick and a ginger? The entirety of their chemical make up and physical appearance.

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okay so one time my dog was eating an octopus tail and i was all like...Bro! octopus are our friends dont eat them! then he was all like okay...so later i saw my goldfish eating a blue kangaroo and i was all like bro blue kangaroos are our friends dont eat them and she was all like okay.. so then i saw my sandwich eating itself and i was like bro...let me eat you instead! and it was like okay. then i saw a bear eating you so i was like bro....thats all i said before it ate both of us :( and thats the story of why i have 6 toes on my left buttcheek

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the girl crossed a road to shoot a black van. she shot the sherrif.

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What did the duck say to the mouse? Quack!

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What do you call a room full of lawyers? A group of legally educated professionals.

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knock knok Who's there The police, I regret to inform you your son was killed in a horrific traffic accident

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How do you kill a 1000 Ethiopians? Throw a biscuit off a cliff. JimBoto

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In Soviet Russia! People were much more finacially secure than they are now.

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What did the farmer say when he didn't like his tractor? Man, i don't like this tractor

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Why did the Koala Bear fall out of the tree? Because shortly before, it's life had ended due to lethal chlamydia, which is not uncommon for a Koala Bear these days. Due to it's loss of thought and therefore muscle control, it lost it's grip on the branch it was holding and naturally gravity took over.

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Q-what did the black man say before he crossed the road? A-i wanna cross the road.

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Roses are dead Violets are dead I'm a terrible gardener.

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Why did the black man steal an inhaler? Because he was broke and he had asthma.

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Billy's alarm clock went off at 8:00 AM but Billy was really tired but still his Dad forced him to go to school.

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Why did the thief steal the kitchen sink? Everything else was stolen by another thief earlier in the day.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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