What's black, white, and red all over? That could describe any number of objects.

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Why can't the blonde dial 911? Because the burglars tied her up and gagged her before they robbed the house and she couldn't do anything until one of the neighbors found her and untied her.

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who likes to gets to get fisted A) sock puppets

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Why did Suzie die? She ate too many fried twinkies.

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why did the little boy cry about his dog, it was hit by a train.

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Tom and Phill are eating ice cream Tom challenges Phill to a contest to see who can eat their ice cream in one bite Tom finishes his in two bites Phil in one Then he looks like he got a brain freeze Tom notices and says "You idiot: you got brain freeze!" Phill turns around and says "No, I have a brain tumor."

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What did the priest say to the kid? You can tell your dog but nobody else, ok?

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What did the homeless man get for his birthday. Nothing. Get it: He lived a life along with a giant family and on christmas eve 2012 he broke his kneecap and was in the E.R. He got out of the hospital on christmas only to come home to find a burning house; his house. Every member in his family died except for him as they were all in the house when it caught on fire. The house completely burnt and crumbled, and that is why he is homeless.

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three gay men were sitting in a hottub. a condom floats to the surface. why the hell were you watching them?

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if it takes skill to trip over a flat surface, i have no skill...

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Knock Knock Who's there? Orange Orange who? Sorry, what? your door is kind of thick.

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Your mom is so fat, that she has unsightly stretch marks.

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once, my brother took my lard and gave it to the less fortunet

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What would you do if I said a horse ate your mother? It doesn't mattet, I didn't

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Two black men and a latino board a plane together. They are members of the Marshall High School football team, and all die in the subsequent crash.

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Schizophrenia will affect over 1.5 million people this year. At least, thats what my flying, albino pet rhinoceros told me.

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A fat man walks into a bar. There is a 70% chance his mom is fat.

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what do u call a lesbian dinosaur? lickalotopuss

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what smells like tuna? my underwear

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Why do you care?

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Sally heard a scream in a dark room and went to go see who it was. Knock Knock! Who's there? Not Sally...

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What's black,white, and red all over? Nothing, because if it is completely covered in red then it can only be red.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Most poems rhyme This one does, too.

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-Why did the chicken cross the road? '' I dont know '' -Because it would cross the road and over to you. -Knock knock? '' Who's there?'' - CHICKEN!!!!!!!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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